Microsoft Aims To Improve Xbox One; New IPs, Sequels Being Announced At E3

There's a lot of Xbox One tidbits circulating, so it's time to kind of consolidate and condense the information into one nice, tidy little article like getting your second cousin with the gambling problem to get all his credit debt handled by the third cousin removed from Bernie Madoff. Family traits die hard.

So first up, Microsoft wants to improve the Xbox One like your stepfather tried improving your mom's upper hemisphere with a trip to the boob doctor. According to Gaming Bolt, the Micro 'S' is hiring in new software engineers like your old man bought new plugs to keep the hairline from receding so far back from the edge of his forehead that it looks like an early morning beach when the ocean tide rolls out.

As noted in the article...

I guess they'll need all the software help they can get until DirectX 12 can unlock the Xbox One's “Banana Surprise” like a west Hollywood night-walker surprising your friends at a bachelor party. If Microsoft can get the Xbox One's firmware hung with a big 'ole “Banana Surprise” then there might be hope for the system yet, even if it still struggles to hit 1080p in AAA titles like a third-world country struggles to raise its GDP.

But let's not get sidetracked. This is all about the good things happening in the green and black brand's bandwagon, and we don't need to sour the mood with talk about the Xbox One's RD (resolution dysfunction) like an old man going through a mid-life, lower-extremity crisis. Let's keep the mood light, and airy and “up”... just like the PS4's resolution for AAA titles.

And even though Extreme Tech cut Microsoft a new one over their troglodyte-quality policies that were originally enacted by the man who sunk the Xbox brand lower than the Titanic (i.e., Don Mattrick) it's best to focus on the softer side of the news, and policies that Microsoft is trying to fix, such as bringing new intellectual properties to the system and launch new sequels for established brands, because they sure as heck have to make up for the lack of AAA titles on the console, the lack of mid-budget games on the console, and – as mentioned in the Extreme Tech article – the vast absence of indie games currently not on the system.

According to a recent tweet by the Xbox division's new head honcho, Phil Spencer, he had this to say about the future of the Xbox One's software line-up heading into and coming out of E3...

Go #TeamXbox! Yeah. Doritos! Mountain Dew! Ah, Dorito Pope! Ummm... Dude! Bro! Dudebro! Cliffy B! Yeah. Manliness! Now everyone fart and fist-bump and I think we'll have covered every necessary trope to be a proper Xbox fan.

But it's at least good that the Xbox One is getting some new games. Every gamer knows they could use something more than what it currently has. It feels like there's a scarcity of games like there's a scarcity of clean water in Mexico.

Anyway, Spence wasn't done dispensing niceties about the Xbox One across the great expanse of the social media meta-verse. Games Sphere picked up tweets from Phil praising a user-made UI video for the Xbox One that even I feel is a huge improvement over what the big black box launched with. Check it out below.

According to Phil Spencer...

I agree, Spence. That video looks better than any of the updates Microsoft has made to the Xbox One's GUI. Oh wait, they haven't made any updates to the GUI. Oh well.

At least Xbox One owners can take some solace in that awesome looking video of the UI they won't be able to use anytime soon. It'll also compensate for all the welfare resolutions the AAA games are running at on the console, too.

Well, there's always E3... assuming the games aren't running on high-end PCs with Nvidia GTX cards.