Nanny Uma Thurman

Uma Thurman belongs in action movies. She’s the only female star ever to properly pull the whole action thing off since Linda Hamilton. We need more of her with a samurai sword. Instead, she’s making a children’s movie adapted from the “Eloise” books.

Variety says she’ll star in Eloise in the Park as Nanny. She’s the caretaker of the movie’s little kid star. I haven’t read the books, but if this were the Muppet Babies then she’d be represented for the entire movie by a pair of striped socks.

Charles Shyer will direct and co-wrote the script with his daughter Hallie and Larry Spencer. Writing stuff with your kids never tends to go well, that’s how Robert Rodriguez ended up making that awful Shark Boy and Lava Girl movie. Hopefully Shyer will resist the temptation to present his film in badly rendered, headache-inducing, budget-3D.

Josh Tyler