Olsen Twins Become Bond Girls

By Mack Rawden: 2007-05-18 15:56:27

The Olsen twins are hot. Anyone who says otherwise has poor vision or bad taste. In fact, I’ve thought they were gorgeous for about fifteen years. No, I don’t have a predilection for pedophilia; they’ve just always been the same age as I am. When I was six, I was convinced that I was going to live happily ever after with Mary-Kate. I don’t really remember why I arbitrarily pushed her sister aside and settled on the sportier one, but I was only in Kindergarten. I had my reasons, dammit! In the last fifteen years, I’ve moved on to bustier crushes, but in case she’s reading this, I’m still down, Mary-Kate. I’m still down.

Thankfully, myself along with millions of other fans may be about to see a little more of the titillating twosome. According to Monsters and Critics, James Bond executives are looking to cast the pair in the upcoming, tentatively titled Bond 22. If I was a below-average writer, I would probably make some ill-advised Olsen twin shaken, not stirred joke. Luckily, I’m better than that. Wait, I think I thought of a good one. Never mind, the time has passed. The deal isn’t done yet, but rumors indicate that the starlets may be looking for a no sex clause in their contracts. Where do people get off still having morals? Honestly!

It’s not a total loss for those of you only interested in watching seductive vixens, though. Dame Judy Dench has agreed to return to her post as Bond boss M. There’s just no sexual tension like that of a secret agent and a sultry old woman. Giancarlo Giannini will also reprise his roll as Rene Mathis. There’s no word on when the Casino Royale follow-up will arrive in theatres, but a good guess would probably be next summer.

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kirk carter
May 19, 2007 at 20:39

I would imagine that having the Olsen Twins as Bond girls would be a rather kinky scenario. It would be the first time that James Bond spent more time in the kitchen cooking meals, rather than going out and dealing with crime. The girls look like they're starving to death! KC/Las Vegas

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Mike
May 19, 2007 at 20:23

Yeah, the Olsen twins are hot if you like skinny little girls. Maybe they should try eating some time. Maybe an apple.

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Josh T
May 19, 2007 at 17:02

If you're talking about the statement from their reps that they aren't doing it, then you could have at least posted that, rather than just randomly posting"this is false". That doesn't really accomplish anything.

If that is what you're talking about, it's not really proof. It's just a denial. Reps lie all the time. Reps lie constantly. Today they'll deny it, tomorrow they'll announce that their client is in Bond and act like they came up with the idea.

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John
May 19, 2007 at 11:55

This has been proven false.
They will not be in the Bond films.

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