So back in July, during Comic Con, the Lost producers made a big announcement: Harold Perrineau, a.k.a. Michael, would be coming back! We didn't know when, and we didn't know how, but it was a great mystery! But then, a few episodes ago, Ben mentioned that he had a spy on the freighter. And then he mentioned it again. And every time Harold Perrineau's named showed up in the credits, it became clearer and clearer that, duh, Michael is the man on the boat.
So yes, that was one big reveal of this episode that was not remotely surprising. But, as usual, Lost had more than that up its sleeve, including a chance to see our characters act like rational human beings! Well, and some irrational human beings too. Let's figure out which is which.
Locke's camp: Presumably acting as irrationally as ever, since we didn't see either of them. Well, we kind of saw one. I'll get back to you on that.
Jack: Jack did nothing this entire episode except compliment Jin on his improving English. It was quite refreshing!
Kate: Kate returns from her foray in the jungle and explains to Sun that Charlotte hit her over the head, and—surprise, surprise-- Juliette lied about something else! Then Kate disappears for pretty much the rest of the episode, but she seems to have put some ideas into Sun's head...
Present Sun: Ah, Sun. Sun had the flash-forward of the episode-- yes, she's one of the Oceanic Six!-- but we'll get to that part later. In the present, on the island, she's getting antsy waiting for the freighters to rescue them, and goes so far as to ask Daniel directly whether or not they're coming to rescue them. Unbelievably, she is the first person to do that! Way to go, Sun! Daniel seems quite sad to tell her that it's not really his decision whether or not they get rescued, so Sun decides to take action. Assuming, logically, that Juliette is a liar, Sun decides that she is not in fact in danger, and she's going to decamp to Locke Land. She enlists Jin to go with her, but Juliette finds out, and oh goodness does Juliette need to work on her people skills.
Juliette: Juliette, being the good doctor that she is, needs to keep Sun from running off to Locke, and tries to enlist Jin to her side in the dirtiest way possible-- she tells Jin that Sun had an affair. I believe I actually shouted “Oh snap!” at the screen, and everyone in the room shouted “Slap her, Sun!” And she did! Juliette's words cause Jin to storm off, understandably, but Sun sticks around at camp. Juliette eventually corners Sun and tells her all the awful things that will start happening to her if she stays pregnant on the island, and Sun finally decides to stick with Jack's camp, and those freighties who can probably barely keep track of their own lies at this point. And speaking of them...
Desmond & Sayid: These two are pretty much a unit at this point, which makes me happy-- I told my boyfriend I'd watch two separate spin-off shows, one about Sayid and Desmond fighting the bad guys on the freighter, and one about roommates Sawyer and Hurley with their kooky neighbor Ben. Anyway. Thank goodness, Desmond's back to normal, though he and Sayid are still locked up in the sick bay. The helicopter pilot, Lapidus, asks them how they broke out and got to the radio room, and they explain that the door was left open-- and they thought he'd done. Well, no. Later a note is slipped under their door that tells them “Don't trust the captain,” and later, of course, they meet the captain-- a gruff, kinda cute Australian guy. Oh, and an Australian guy who pays no attention whatsoever when one of his crew-- Regina, who we've heard several times on the phone-- walks off the boat wrapped up in chains, never to be seen again. Hmmm.
The boat captain: The captain, more than anyone else in the history of this show, is actually interested in giving us answers! He shows Desmond and Sayid the black box from Oceanic 815-- the version of Oceanic 815 found at the bottom of the ocean. He explains that his boss, Charles Widmore, retrieved the black box with “a considerable amount of his resources,” which is absolutely a massive understatement. He then lists of all the things it would take to fake a plane crash, all the things that fans of the show has been discussing for weeks. Wow, way to think like me! And then he ends with the big 'un-- “That's one of the many reasons I'm looking for Benjamin Linus.” Oh snap!
You knew it was coming...Michael: Or, shall we say, Kevin Johnson? After Desmond and Sayid meet with the captain, they are ushered back to their new room, where there remains a giant, head-shaped blood splatter. Nice. The doc who has led them there signals for the janitor to come down and clean it up. And the janitor walks slooooowly...sloooowly.... down a darkened hallway, and who does it reveal? The person we've been expecting to show up for the last seven episodes. Nice shocker, there, Lost. Desmond and Sayid shake Michael's hand and introduce themselves, never revealing that, as soon as they get him alone, they are going to beat the crap out of him, or possibly break his neck with their legs. You never know with those two.
Bernard: Hey, look, Bernard's still alive! He comes back from wherever he's been all season just in time to interrupt Sun and Jin's argument over Juliette's ridiculous breach of doctor-patient confidentiality. Bernard asks to go fishing with Jin and Jin says yes, presumably just to piss Sun off. Sitting out in the catamaran, on a boys-only fishing trip, Bernard lectures Jin for a bit about karma, about how sticking with Jack was the right thing to do, even though Locke was-- omg!-- a murderer. Not like Jack ever pulled the trigger on a gun he thought was loaded or anything! Then Jin catches a fish and Bernard tells him it's karma, which I don't think is actually how karma works.
Jin: Jin, running with Bernard's wonky definition of karma, decides he needs to forgive Sun, and comes to her tent that night to tell her he understands why she had an affair, since the man he was then was not a good man. They have a teary, lovely conversation about raising their baby which is way too eloquent to make fun of. We end with Jin promising Sun he'll do anything he can to take care of the baby. Which brings us to...
Future Jin: Yeah, there's a future Jin! And he's frantically trying to get the hospital because there's a baby being born! And for some reason he is very, very determined to buy a panda before he gets there, which results in hilarious subtitled lines like “Everyone loves a panda” and a very forceful “I need the panda.” He's got that ex-gangster intensity, that's for sure. Finally arriving at the hospital, Jin rushes up with the panda... and finds an armed guard at the door, to whom he explains he's a representative of Mr. Paik, and has heard the ambassador has a granddaughter. Wait, what? Jin gives the panda to the ambassador, tells him to remember Mr. Paik, and strolls out of the hospital. He tells a nurse on the way out, “It's not my baby. Don't rush me-- I've only been married two months!” Wait, what?
Future Sun: Yes, Sun is having a baby in the future. And she's worried that something is wrong. And she's constantly asking for her husband, who never comes. Finally she has the baby, and it's a girl, just like Jin predicted back on the island. Later she's out of the hospital and at home, when the doorbell rings. Which brings us to the final character we're catching up with this week...
Future Hurley: Possibly using that Golden Pass they got from Oceanic, Hurley is there in Korea to visit Sun's little girl. Hurley says she looks just like Jin, and then tells Sun “Let's go see him.” And that's when we know that Future Jin was actually Past Jin-- it was a flashback, and Jin is actually dead. Well, he has a tombstone at least, which reads a curious death date-- 9/22/04. Also known as the day the plane crashed? Curious, curious... but I'm too worked up about Jin being dead to think too hard about it right now.
Next week: Someone strangles Michael, at long last! Apparently Sawyer and Locke talk about Michael being on the boat too! And, as the announcer solemnly announces, “SOMEONE...WILL...DIE.” Is it Jin? Or are they going to throw us for a loop? And are we ever going to see more from Regina, a.k.a. famed stuntwoman Zoe Bell? You know, just a typical episode of Lost-- more questions, more characters, and wayyyyy too much heartbreak.
