I still can't quite wrap my brain around Suicide Girls Must Die! the upcoming "reality horror movie" starring the pierced and be-tatted ladies of SuicideGirls.com. Granted, it makes way more sense than either From Justin to Kelly or The Real Cancun, but neither of those had any reason to exist whatsoever. Still, if we're going to watch a bevy of ladies get butchered by an axe-wielding psychopath, they might as well bring a little grrrl power in to break up blonde-and-buxom monotony from CW-central-casting.
With Suicide Girls Must Die! trying to conquer the big screen, the gals are also hoping to cash in on some of that sweet home-entertainment moolah with two DVD releases this week. Suicide Girls: Guide to Living is composed of several how-to segments on subjects such as performing a strip tease, faking an orgasm, and skinny dipping. I'd like to submit that if you need a how-to segment to instruct you how to skinny dip, it's unlikely you'll be able to handle the anything as complicated as faking an orgasm. Guide to Living is now available on both Blu-ray and DVD, rocking 87 minutes of "educational" footage. Here's the trailer, which, you may be surprised to learn, contains the bewbies.
Also out is Suicide Girls: Italian Villa. Don't expect to learn how to change a spare tire or compose a sonnet from this one. Instead it's just the SG ladies lounging around a house none of us afford to walk through, much less own for ourselves. They may be edgy and rebellious, but that doesn't mean they can't appreciate the finer things.
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