Mario Kart 8 Is Now Available For Wii U

We're a few hours late... who's keeping track? But like a drunken father who always gets his kid to school on time, we'd rather be late than a deadbeat.

Anyway, Mario Kart 8 is now available for the Wii U. It's May 30th and excellence has arrived. While PlayStation 4 gamers await greatness and Xbox One owners are hoping that someday they'll get a game that runs 1080p and 60fps that doesn't look like it skinned the graphics off an Xbox 360 title and super-glued it on like Buffalo Bill taking the skin off his female victims in The Silence of the Lambs, Wii U owners are getting great games with great graphics and amazing gameplay.

The review round-up consisted of mostly positive word-play patches, but there were some inklings of negativity sprinkled atop high-scoring reviews like pubic hair on a steak sandwich at a one-star restaurant.

But conspiracy theories about the competition paying to keep the Big 'N' down are worthless when measured against the fun that gamer are having right now with Mario Kart 8. In fact, the meme below from Gooberplease perfectly sums up how a lot of people are feeling right now.

The game has had a long, marketable haul toward the finish line of development and the starting line of consumer sales. Things really kicked into high gear when Mario Kart 8 started kicking butt and taking names on the Amazon charts and even selling its bundles out like Pamela Anderson from 1995 selling kisses at a high school carnival for $5, or Nicholas Cage selling out his integrity in direct-to-DVD movies that would make Uwe Boll too embarrassed to direct.

The game features some brand new items, a new mode and a brand new take on 16 of the classic Mario Kart tracks from past games, as well as 16 brand new tracks that take full advantage of the game's brand new anti-gravity wall riding, para-gliding and underwater segments.

The most important part about this entire release for the Wii U is that this is the only AAA console game to release this generation that didn't require a day-one patch. That's right... Nintendo released a game that wasn't broken out the box on its first day of release.

Somebody cue a slow-clap gif, please.

What's more is that Nintendo is further breaking trends by offering free Mercedes Benz DLC. The concept of free DLC in the AAA publishing arena is about as foreign as Jersey Shore to an Amish community. Bravo for Nintendo doing it and doing it with class.

Somebody cue another slow-clap gif, please.

You can pick up a copy of Mario Kart 8 right now, exclusively for the Wii U from your local retailer for only $60. Buy it, play it and have fun.