As the initial shock of Blake Lively’s It Ends With Us lawsuit wears off, fans have started to pull back from the details of her allegations and begun focusing on the industry as a whole. More specifically, they’ve started talking loudly about how sex scenes are shot in Hollywood and the inconsistent usage of intimacy coordinators. As part of that conversation, a quote from actor Rahul Kohli, probably best known for iZombie, has gone mega-viral because it so succinctly explains the situation and where production needs to go.
The quote in question started as an Instagram story on the actor’s account, but a fan screenshotted it and posted it on X, formerly known as Twitter. Almost immediately, it started getting shared and reposted, and the most popular version now has more than 30,000 likes. In his post, Kohli argues that we need to start making intimacy coordinators mandatory in the same way stunt coordinators are mandatory. He doesn’t get why we ask actresses if they want an intimacy coordinator when it puts the decision-making and emotional burden on them. You can read his quote in full below…
I’ve had this happen a couple times recently in the past, and now seems like a relevant time to bring this up: Stop asking actors or the director if we’d like an intimacy coordinator present during a scene. It should just be mandatory at this point, we don’t get asked if we’d like a stunt coordinator, they’re always present for our safety and advice. This should be no different. And it’s almost always put on actresses like ‘I’m good without one, are you?’ leaving them to have to either pass or speak up. Fuck that. You want intimacy scenes in your film/ show? You hire an intimacy coordinator. If anyone has a problem working with one, they’re a walking red flag.
Even before Blake Lively’s shocking legal filing, there was a lot of talk about intimacy coordinators on It Ends With Us. Both Lively and director Justin Baldoni, the subject of some of the allegations in her lawsuit, talked about using intimacy coordinators during their separate press tours, but the timeline is a bit murky. Baldoni claimed in an interview to Harper Bazaar that he knew It Ends With Us needed intimacy coordinators “from the very beginning.”
A key part of Lively’s allegations, however, involve shooting a birthing scene without an intimacy coordinator. Baldoni allegedly pressured her to shoot the scene without a hospital gown, and another producer allegedly showed her a video of his wife giving birth while completely naked. There were also other allegations about not closing down the set during nude scenes and barging into Lively’s trailer while she was undressed. At some point, the studio got involved and Lively allegedly demanded an intimacy coordinator be brought in for all future scenes involving nudity or physical intimacy.
Intimacy coordinators have become much more prevalent over the last several years. Many actors have spoken publicly about their feelings on the matter, and even cast members over at SNL have talked about whether to use them in comedic sketches. They are not a required industry standard, but given the very high profile nature of this lawsuit, that seems likely to change.
Justin Baldoni has denied the allegations against him through his attorney. It’ll likely take months or even years for the case to work its way through the legal system, as there are now multiple lawsuits. Expect to hear a lot about it in the meantime.
