The old Hollywood adage is that one should never work with kids or dogs, not because either is difficult to work with, but because they will almost always upstage you. And yet, in the ‘90s classic Kindergarten Cop by director Ivan Reitman, Arnold Schwarzenegger works with a whole classroom full of children. It's also true that a lot of what we remember about the movie is what the kids say, including one particular kid who would have a particularly surprising, if scientifically accurate line.
Miko Hughes started his career as a child star in the iconic role of Gage Creed in the original adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. From there, he would appear in numerous TV series and films. He recently appeared on Dave Coulier’s Full House Rewind podcast, as the actor appeared in a dozen episodes of the original series. He was asked about his appearance in Kindergarten Cop, where it appears the dialogue was written for the kids on the fly. Hughes explained…
I think I was the youngest one in the classroom on Kindergarten Cop. The stories that I'm told, you know, from my parents, [is that] they didn't have a line for me. I didn't have lines written. Some of it was kind of written as developed on set. … It was a lot of ‘yes, and’ing.’
It seems that as the writers and director got to know the kids, they would figure out how to use them. That led to the idea of using Hughes for a particular line that fans would remember. He’s the little boy who “informs” Schwarzenegger’s character about the biology of boys and girls after one child asks to use the bathroom.
While Hughes doesn’t remember the movie particularly well due to being so young, it seems the writers asked his parents for their permission to have him say the line due to it being what it was. It seems his mother did struggle before giving her permission. He continued…
The story I'm told is that they came to my parents and said they wanted [me] to say this line that's kind of provocative. And I guess my mom said she took a couple of days. She’s like, 'This is kind of crazy. I don't know. Is it good? Is it bad?' She thought, 'That's gonna be the line everyone remembers' and went for it. And, yeah, now I'll forever be known as the 'boys have a penis, girls have a vagina' kid.
If you’ve seen the movie, you don’t need the scene described to you. It is probably the most well-remembered part of the movie for the simple fact that you don’t expect to hear those words coming out of the mouth of a kid that young. And yet, they are delivered with a level of authority that only small children can truly sell. If you haven’t seen the movie, check out the clip below.
Kindergarten Cop doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s one of those movies where you have to ignore the implausibility of the premise to enjoy it, but clearly it has resonated with audiences. While it may not be one of the best '90s movies, it's one that many remember fondly. There were plans for a Kindergarten Cop remake before we instead got a sequel starring Dolph Lundgren... which was still essentially just a remake. None of that happens if there's a lot of people who remember and love the original.
