When people think of the best Tim Burton movies, the first thing that typically pops into their minds is the unique filmmaker’s wild visual style. However, we cannot deny that his films also boast some equally trippy and amusing dialogue. See for yourself by looking back on some of the most incredible lines from the incredible filmmaker’s greatest hits.
“It’s Showtime” - Beetlejuice
Out of all the best quotes from Beetlejuice – Tim Burton's ghostly sophomore effort from 1988 – there is only one line that best defines Michael Keaton's titular bio-exorcist (actually spelled "Betelgeuse"). The announcement of his return to the land of the living after Lydia Deetz (Winona Ryder) says his name thrice is on par with the memorably epic delivery of The Shining's "Here's Johnny!"
"I Want To Thank My Grandma For Always Being So Good To Me, And, And For Helping Save The World And Everything" - Mars Attacks!
Out of all the crazy things that have happened in alien invasion movies, Slim Whitman’s “Indian Love Call” being used as a weapon against the Martians in 1996's Mars Attacks! is one of the most unique. Because the song's weaponizing purpose was discovered accidentally by his grandmother, Florence (Sylvia Sidney), Richie Norris (Lukas Haas) attributes Earth's survival to her in a celebratory ceremony.
"You Ever Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight?" - Batman
Any argument for why Jack Nicholson remains one of the greatest Joker actors in cinematic history can be narrowed down to just one quote from the first of Tim Burton's live-action Batman movies, 1989's Batman. While the Clown Prince of Crime likes to say it to all his prey just for the way it sounds to him, it holds a special significance to Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton), reigniting a lost memory of his parents' tragic murder.
"I Know You Are But What Am I?" - Pee-wee's Big Adventure
We can thank the late, great Paul Reubens and his signature iconic man-child for introducing the ultimate comeback to any insult. It never ceases to be funny no matter how many times he repeats it in a vicious back-and-forth with Francis Buxton (Mark Holton) early on Tim Burton's feature-length directorial debut, 1985's Pee-wee's Big Adventure.
"At Last! My Arm Is Complete Again!" - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street
One of the best Tim Burton/Johnny Depp collaborations is the 2007 cinematic adaptation of the bleak stage musical, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. The title character of the acclaimed revenge movie (Depp) finds purpose again after years behind bars when he is reunited with his razor, which he uses to punish those who wronged him.
"I've Spent So Long In The Darkness, I'd Almost Forgotten How Beautiful The Moonlight Is" - Corpse Bride
Surprisingly, Corpse Bride – a spooky stop-motion fantasy in which the meek Victor (Johnny Depp) accidentally finds himself married to the undead Emily (Helena Bonham Carter) – is considered one of Tim Burton's most criminally overlooked films. We are inclined to agree that moments like this, in which Emily is given the opportunity to see the moon for the first time since her death, deserve far more appreciation.
"They Say When You Meet The Love Of Your Life, Time Stops, And That's True. What They Don't Tell You Is That When It Starts Again, It Moves Extra Fast To Catch Up" - Big Fish
One of the most romantic movie quotes in recent memory comes from Tim Burton's 2007 adaptation of Daniel Wallace's novel, Big Fish, when Albert FInney's Ed Bloom recalls the moment his younger self (Ewan McGregor) first laid eyes on his wife. Anyone who has found love would agree that it certainly feels like the world stops when they find it and that life seems to go by all too quickly from that point on.
"It Is Truth, But Truth Is Not Always Appearance" - Sleepy Hollow
Take a tribute to old-fashioned period horror dramas like Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow from 1999 which offers such an insightful lesson in differentiating what is real from what is illusion. Johnny Depp's Ichabod Crane demonstrates how things are not always what they seem by taking out a yarn with a card in the center bearing a picture of a bird on one side and a cage on the other. When he spins the yarn, it looks as if the bird is in the cage.
"If He Weren't Up There Now, I Don't Think It Would Be Snowing. Sometimes, You Can Still Catch Me Dancing In It" - Edward Scissorhands
Easily one of the most unique Tim Burton movies in concept alone, 1990's Edward Scissorhands is also a wondrous experience in execution for the imagination expressed in a single line like its last. Elderly Kim (Winona Ryder) explains to her granddaughter that, in their neighborhood, the snowfall is actually shrapnel from the title character's ice sculptures, which he craves with his blades for fingers.
“Well, I Attended Juilliard…” - Beetlejuice
Searching for a way to rid their house of the Deetzes, the recently deceased Adam (Alec Baldwin) and Barbara Maitland (Geena Davis) ask Betelguese (Michael Keaton) about his “qualifications,” to which he replies this uproarious autobiography. The full Beetlejuice quote reads, "Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen THE EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT! NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY! NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?"
"Play Dead... Oh, Sorry" - Corpse Bride
As a gift from Emily, Victor receives the enviable opportunity to be reunited with his long-deceased dog, Scraps, in Corpse Bride. The man becomes so caught up in this joyous event that he almost forgets his once-furry friend is a ghost when he calls out a common command.
"This Is The One. 'This' Is The One I'll Be Remembered For" - Ed Wood
One of Tim Burton's most widely acclaimed films is the Oscar-winning 1994 biopic Ed Wood, starring Johnny Depp as the director of such trashy B-movies as Plan 9 from Outer Space. The filmmaker is actually referring to the 1957 alien invasion movie in this quote and he would, indeed, turn out to be correct.
"This Is What Happens When You Die...” - Beetlejuice
The full quote by Beetlejuice cast member Patrice Martinez as Miss Argentina reads, "This is what happens when you die. That is what happens when he dies. And that is what happens when they die. It's all very personal. And I'll tell you something: if I knew then what I know now...I wouldn't have had my little accident." It is the waiting room receptionist's fascinating way of explaining to Adam and Barbara how everyone's experience of the Afterlife is different, depending on the cause of death.
"...But A Kiss Can Be Even Deadlier If You Mean It" - Batman Returns
In 1992's Batman Returns, the Dark Knight (Michael Keaton) mentions mistletoe can be "deadly if you eat it," prompting this cheeky reply from Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman. One of Michael Keaton's coolest Batman moments sees this quote make a reprise during a later scene at Max Schreck's ball, when Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle quote each other's alter egos, leading them to discover their true identities.
"I Read Through That Handbook For The Recently Deceased...” - Beetlejuice
When the Maitlands ask Lydia how she is able to see their ghosts, she says that the Handbook for the Recently Deceased explains that "live people ignore the strange and unusual," and adds, "I myself am strange and unusual." There is no greater quote to associate with Winona Ryder's teen goth hero from Beetlejuice than this.
"You Wanna Get Nuts? C'Mon, Let's Get Nuts!" - Batman
Michael Keaton's willingness to have Bruce Wayne let out his dark side even when he is not in the cape and cowl is one of the essential reasons why he is one of the best live-action Batman actors of all time. Exhibit A: when he threatens the Joker in Vicki Vale's (Kim Basinger) living room with a fire poker and this unhinged call to action.
"That's The Problem. He Was Dead To Begin With" - Sleepy Hollow
In Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow, while it takes a while for Johnny Depp's Ichabod Crane to realize the deadly Headless Horseman exists, he catches on to the unusual weight of the situation relatively quickly. After Young Masbath (Marc Pickering) asks if the villain is dead, Ichabod claims that it might be impossible to kill him as he is already deceased.
"My Dreams Were Taken From Me. But Now - Now I've Stolen Them From Someone Else. I Love You, Victor, But You Are Not Mine" - Corpse Bride
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride is one of the most beautiful stories based on the philosophy that the best way to prove you love someone is by letting them go. Emily is genuinely smitten by the man who brought her soul back to life but, realizing that Victor is meant to be with Victoria (Emily Watson), she moves on.
"C'mon, Simone, Let's Talk About Your Big 'But'" - Pee-wee's Big Adventure
One of the most moving scenes from Pee-wee's Big Adventure also involves one of its funniest quotes. While watching the sunrise together, Simone (Diane Salinger) tells Pee-wee about her dream to live in Paris, which he urges her to follow despite what her jealous boyfriend, Andy, says. She replies, "I know you're right, Pee-wee, but..." at which point he cuts her off, encouraging her to discuss her "big but," which an eavesdropping Andy misinterprets as them getting intimate.
"If You Don't Let Me Gut Out This House And Make It My Own, I Will Go Insane AND I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME!" - Beetlejuice
In a movie filled with grotesque ghouls and sandworms from Saturn, the most uproarious scenes in Beetlejuice are truly owned by Schitt’s Creek cast member Catherine O’Hara as Delia Deetz. The film introduces her unusual artistic taste and iron-fisted approach to preserving it early on when pleading with her husband, Charles (Jeffrey Jones), to let her change the Maitlands' home to her liking.
"Guess It Wasn't The Dove" - Mars Attacks!
In Mars Attacks!, the Martians kill all of Congress, prompting First Daughter Taffy Dale (Natalie Portman) to quip that the dove which seemingly set off the first angry attack on humanity was not the cause. They just don't like humans.
"Because He IS Batman, You Moron!" - Batman Returns
Some might say Max Schreck (Christopher Walken) from Batman Returns is one of the most overlooked Batman movie characters but he also has his moments of density. For instance, when he asks Bruce Wayne why he is dressed like the Dark Knight, Selina Kyle responds with what is easily one of the funniest Batman movie moments.
"You're Entirely Bonkers. But I'll Tell You A Secret. All The Best People Are" - Alice In Wonderland
We would attribute the success of Tim Burton's 2010 adaptation of Alice in Wonderland, not just for its wondrous visuals, but for the way it serves as a source of inspiration to anyone who ever felt a little "out there." We imagine many people found encouragement in these words from Alice (Mia Wasikowska) to Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter.
“You Don't Wanna Get Mixed Up With A Guy Like Me. I'm A Loner, Dottie. A Rebel" - Pee-wee's Big Adventure
While its seems like an unlikely description for a goofy man in a red bowtie, anyone who truly understands Paul Reubens' Pee-wee knows that he is quite rebellious. Later in Pee-wee's Big Adventure, he experiences "déjà vu" when escaped convict Mickey (Judd Omen) repeats what he told Dottie (E.G. Daily) almost word for word.
"Who's The Man Behind The Bat? Maybe You Can Help Me Find The Woman Behind The Cat?" - Batman Returns
One of the things that makes Michelle Pfeiffer's performance in Batman Returns one of the all-time best Catwoman portrayals is how she makes the feline-esque thief's romance with the vigilante feel so authentic. Despite existing on opposite sides of the law, the Bat and the Cat truly complete each other.
"Visions Are Worth Fighting For. Why Spend Your Life Making Someone Else's Dreams?" - Ed Wood
At least from a creative perspective, there may not be a more inspirational quote from a Tim Burton movie than these words of wisdom from Ed Wood. Perfectly cast by Vincent D'Onofrio, Orson Welles encourages the B-movie filmmaker to hold on to his artistic integrity, no matter what the cost.
"Science Is Not Good Or Bad, Victor. But It Can Be Used Both Ways. That Is Why You Must Always Be Careful" - Frankenweenie
Based on the 1984 short film that launched Tim Burton's career, the 2012 stop-motion favorite Frankeweenie follows an ambitious young boy who attempts to resurrect his beloved dog from the dead. The complications that come from this feat are prophesied by these otherwise encouraging words from his mentor, Mr. Rzykruski (Martin Landau).
"Candy Doesn't Have To Have A Point. That's Why It's Candy" - Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
If there is any reason to like Tim Burton's 2005 adaptation of Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, it is Freddie Highmore's performance in the title role. The poor boy understands the purpose of sweet treats better than any of the five children chosen to tour the famed factory.
"You Know What, I Mistook Me For Somebody Else" - Batman Returns
During Bruce Wayne's funny meet cute with Selina Kyle in Batman Returns, he tries to tell Max Schreck's assistant that he meant to say he mistook her for somebody else to cover for the fact that he previously ran into her as Batman. That being said, to say that he mistook himself for somebody else is more accurate.
"A Man Tells His Stories So Many Times That He Becomes The Stories. They Live On After Him, And In That Way He Becomes Immortal" - Big Fish
Big Fish is a really a series of stories that Albert Finney's Ed Bloom recalls to his son, Will (Billy Crudup), who believes his tales are nothing more than fantasy. However, at the end of his father's life, he comes to realize that his stories, no matter how unbelievable, have contributed to his enduring legacy.
“If You Insist On Frightening People, Do It With Your Sculptures" - Beetlejuice
Talk show host Dick Cavett has an all-too-brief appearance in Beetlejuice as Delia's art agent that is made iconic by just one line following the memorable musical moment in the horror movie involving Harry Belafonte's "The Banana Boat Song (Day-O)." Convinced their spontaneous possession was actually a prank, he chooses to end his professional relationship with the eccentric sculptor with this cruel burn.
"Everything In This Room Is Eatable, Even I'm Eatable! But That Is Called 'Cannibalism,' My Dear Children, And Is In Fact Frowned Upon In Most Societies" - Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
Some people criticize Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for Johnny Depp's incomprehensibly strange performance as Willy Wonka. However, we have to admit, we get a chuckle out of this version of the eccentric chocolatier, especially in how his explanation of the edible qualities of his indoor meadow goes pretty dark.
