Barbie was one of the most successful and best movies of 2023. The film by Greta Gerwig was thought-provoking, very pink, and genuinely hilarious, and it made so, so, so many people feel seen and understood. Now, it’s time to break down one of the reasons why this project is so beloved by going through over 30 of the Margot Robbie-led films’ funniest lines.
“Barbie has a great day every day. But Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him.” - Narrator
These are the first words uttered about Ken after we learn all about how fabulous and perfect Barbie’s life is. Then, after that, we see Ryan Gosling’s doll for the first time, as he hilariously reacts to all the Kens saying hi to Barbie.
“I’m here to see my gynecologist.” -Barbie
It’s a shocking yet perfect line to end Barbie on. While it was the last thing we probably all expected to see, it was also exceptional. It showed Barbie so excited to take on her life in the real world as she did something that literally all women have to do, go to their gynecologist to get a check up.
“There are no multiples of Allan. He’s just Allan.” - Narrator
What makes this line even better is Allan’s response, as Michael Cera’s doll said that he’s also “confused about that.” It’s the perfect way to introduce this one-of-a-kind character, and it adds another hilarious layer by including just one character in Barbie World who doesn’t go by Barbie or Ken.
“I can’t even beach here!” - Ken
When Barbie and Ken find themselves in the Real World, Margot Robbie’s character goes to a school to find the girl who owns her doll. Meanwhile, Ryan Gosling’s Ken goes on his own adventure which includes him trying to get a job so he can start patriarchy. This quest also includes him yelling in frustration when he’s denied a beach job after a lifeguard turns him down because he doesn’t have the skills necessary to be one. However, as Ken says, his job is not lifeguard, it’s beach.
“To be honest, when I found out patriarchy wasn’t about horses, I lost interest anyways.” - Ken
There’s a reason Ryan Gosling found himself on the list of 2024 Oscar nominees, and it’s because of the way he delivered lines like this one. The moment comes at the end of the movie when Ken concedes and he and Barbie have a heart-to-heart. He admits that running things is hard and that he actually didn’t want to do patriarchy once he found out it had nothing to do with horses.
“I would never wear heels if my feet were shaped this way!” - Barbie
After Barbie gets flat feet, she goes to see Weird Barbie. On her way to the house, she realizes quickly that heels aren’t what they’re cut out to be, because they’re incredibly uncomfortable if you don’t have unnaturally arched feet.
“What? You think the lady who invented Barbie looked like Barbie? Ha! I’m a five-foot-nothing Grandma with a double mastectomy and tax evasion issues.” -Ruth
Barbie is amazing because it takes expectations and flips them on their head. That includes our understanding of Ruth, the woman who created the titular doll. While Rhea Perlman’s character is a wholesome old lady, she also comes in swinging with this hilarious line toward the end to let everyone know that the woman who invented Barbie is nothing like her.
“Do you guys ever think about dying?” - Barbie
This journey begins with Barbie having thoughts of death during an epic dance number to a bespoke song, and the existential crisis that ensues is equal parts hilarious and thoughtful, which is a big reason why Barbie got such good reviews.
“She thinks I’m a fascist? I don’t control the railways or the flow of commerce!” - Barbie
The last thing I’d hear about in Barbie was fascism, but here we are. Not only is it mentioned in the movie too, but it’s also brought up because a tween calls Barbie a fascist, which leads to her balling out the hilarious line above.
“Jeez, you would think a construction site at lunchtime would be the perfect place for a little woman-power, but this one is so…male.” - Barbie
While they say comedy is funny because it’s true, in this case, it’s the opposite. This line is hilarious because, in the real world, a construction site is one of the last places I’d go for women power.
“Look, I’m just having a brewski beer in my Mojo Dojo Casa House. You can stay if you want, as my bride-wife or my long-term-low-commitment-distance girlfriend.” - Ken
Some of the most sublime details in Barbie revolve around Ken’s vocabulary. He’s trying so hard to be a cool bro-homie that he tends to name various things by combining many of a noun’s synonyms into one term.
“Do you know how many times I’ve just wanted to stand up in a board meeting and say, ‘Let’s just tickle each other!’” - Mattel CEO
Yes, you read that quote correctly, and yes, it is what Will Ferrell’s Mattel CEO leads with when he gives his big speech to the Barbies and Kens at the end of the movie.
“There’s no ‘just Ken.’ That’s why I was created. I only exist within the warmth of your gaze. Without it, I’m just another blonde guy who can’t do flips.” -Ken
Barbie works really hard to empower Ken to figure out who he is without her. At first, he can’t really accept that. However, eventually, he figures out that “Ken is me,” which is another hilarious line from Ryan Gosling’s character.
“I don’t know exactly what you meant by all those little quips, but I’m picking up on some sort of entendre, which appears to be double.” - Barbie
When Barbie and Ken literally roll up to the construction site, Margot Robbie’s character gets catcalled by the men working there. During that moment, the doll, who has never experienced sexism or misogyny before, calls out the double entendre that’s happening to her.
“We are a company made of women. We had a woman CEO in the ‘90s, and there was another one at some other time, so that’s two right there.” -Mattel CEO
When Barbie ends up at Mattel’s headquarters, she has a run-in with the CEO. However, she doesn’t realize that at first, because she assumed the CEO would be a woman. So, that leads to Will Ferrell’s character saying the silly speech above to try and convince Barbie that women have worked at Mattel.
“Goodnight Barbies! I’m definitely not thinking about death anymore!” - Barbie
After Barbie exclaims to the Barbie cast that she wonders if they have thoughts of death, she quickly tries to quell the concerns that moment caused by saying that she’s “definitely” 100% not thinking about death anymore as she goes to bed.
“We sell dreams and imagination, and sparkle. I get excited, I’m passionate. And when you think of sparkle, what do you think of after that? Female agency.” -Mattel CEO
The moment we meet the Mattel CEO includes him swiveling in his chair with pink drumsticks and talking about Mattel’s mission. While it’s a bit misguided, it’s also hilarious, because he’s convinced what he’s saying is correct.
“I’m just Ken, anywhere else I’d be a ten. Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blonde fragility?” - Ken
Not only was “I’m Just Ken” a hilarious phenomenon in the film, but Ryan Gosling’s performance of the Barbie song at the Oscars also might go down as one of the best musical moments in the award show’s history. The lyrics could truly make anyone laugh, and the fact that this track is used to show the Kens’ conflict rather than an all-out war is genius.
“I don’t have anything big planned, just a giant blow-out party with all the Barbies, with planned choreography and a bespoke song. You should stop by.” - Barbie
Sure, Barbie that doesn't sound like a plan at all…however, every night is girls' night and it’s very important to have an all-out bash planned for all the Barbies so they can “Dance the Night Away.”
“Not one person would care if Allan was in the real world. In fact, it’s happened before. All of NSYNC, Allan. Yes, even him!” -Allan
When Allan tries to make a break for it with Gloria and Sasha to get away from the Kens, they try to convince him that that’s not possible. However, Michael Cera’s character informs them that it’s not a problem, there are plenty of unnoticed Allan’s in the real world including the members of NSYNC, and I think the “even him” he’s referring to is Justin Timberlake.
“Is it just my imagination or did these mojo dojo casa houses just get dreamier?” -Ken
The Kens are “riding” up to their mojo dojo casa houses when they realize the Barbies have reclaimed them. In response, Ryan Gosling’s Ken makes maybe the best reference to Barbie’s dream house by saying the homes had gotten “a whole lot dreamier.”
“I'm a man with no power, does that make me a woman?” -Aaron Dinkins
Barbie was wondering if there were any women in charge of Mattel she could talk to. However, there weren’t. Although, Aaron Dinkins, who is not an executive at the toy company, did chime in to ask if he could be considered a woman because he’s a man with no power.
“I’m bummed, you’re a bummer, that’s a bummer.” -Weird Barbie
Technically, Weird Barbie gives Barbie a choice between knowing about her human or staying in Barbie World, and that’s illustrated by a Birkenstock and a high heel. Well, Barbie wants to stay and choose the heel. However, Kate McKinnon’s doll won’t accept that, which leads her to call out Margot Robbie’s character in this funny way.
“Come on in, I'll play the guitar at you.” -Ken
I think this line hit a lot of women because they too have experienced what it’s like to have a man not play the guitar to them, but at them. What makes it even funnier is Ken played “Push” by Matchbox Twenty right after that.
“It's like I've been in a dream where I was somehow really invested in the Zack Snyder cut of Justice League.” -Barbie
When Alexandra Shipp’s Barbie breaks out of the trance she was in because of the Kens, she describes what it was like by comparing it to being passionate about getting Zack Snyder’s cut of Justice League. It’s a hilarious and light-hearted jab at film bros that went well with other jokes in the movie about men really loving The Godfather.
“The Nobel Prize in horses goes to Ken.” -Ken
While the Barbies get Nobel Prizes for journalism and philanthropy, the Kens get them for…horses. And with Ryan Gosling’s Ken in change, that feels very on-brand.
“This is the lowest I’ve ever been, emotionally and physically.” -Barbie
Now, I realize this is a serious point in the movie, because Baribe has realized fully that her world is not perfect. However, the tantrum she throws is quite funny, and then her falling to the ground, rolling onto her stomach, and saying the above line into the grass is hilarious.
*Walks out of shot* “Sublime!” -Ken
Greta Gerwig told a story about “Sublime,” saying that she was trying to figure out the funniest word for Ryan Gosling to say as he took in Barbie’s proclamation that she wanted him back behind closed doors (though there are no walls, so there’s really no privacy). Well, she was right, it’s truly hilarious.
“Well, the Kens have to start somewhere. And one day, the Kens will have as much power and influence in Barbie Land as women have in the Real World.” -Narrator
Gender roles are flipped in Barbie Land, which means men have less power than women. However, at the end, the Kens get a bit more power after President Barbie allows them a lower-level court position. After that, Narrator Helen Mirren comes in to note that eventually, the Kens will have the same kind of power as women in the Real World, which means they’ll have a little bit of it…but still not very much.
“I'll take a high-level, high-paying job with influence, please.” -Ken
On Ken’s escapade through the Real World, he tries to land a big job. However, he’s not really sure what that means, so he just asks for a “high-level, high-paying job with influence.” Also, when he’s denied that request, he tells the guy that they “aren’t doing patriarchy very well.”
“I'm a liberated man. I know crying is not weak.” -Ken
Men are allowed to feel their emotions too, and Ken knows that. So, when Barbie tries to console him he makes sure to note that he knows it's OK to cry.
“Okay, kids, it's time to run out and get the new Depression Barbie. She wears sweatpants all day and night. She spent seven hours today on Instagram, looking at her estranged best friend's engagement photos, while eating a family-size bag of Starbursts. And now her jaw is killing her. And she's going to watch the BBC's Pride and Prejudice for the seventh time until she falls asleep… Anxiety, panic attacks, and OCD sold separately.” -Depression Barbie Advertisement
When I saw Barbie in theaters, the fake advertisement for Depression Barbie, which comes right after Barbie falls onto the ground, got a massive laugh. I felt both seen and called out by it, because I think we’ve all had moments where all we want when we’re feeling down is too much candy and a comfort movie.
Honestly, this isn’t even close to all the quotes that could have ended up on this list, proving that Barbie is one of the great comedies!
