When Harry Met Sally is largely considered to be one of the best romantic comedies of all time, and yet I had never seen it before. I’ve seen just about every other Nora Ephron-penned film, but I was always hesitant to check it out in case I wound up hating it. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case, and I absolutely adored the Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal-led flick. In fact, I loved it so much that it made me realize how desperate I am for more slow-burn, friends-to-lovers-style romantic comedies.
The 1989 film begins in 1977 when college graduates Sally Albright (Ryan) and Harry Burns (Crystal) decide to carpool up to New York City to start their adult lives despite only having one mutual friend. The car ride is tumultuous, to say the least, and the two parted ways without exchanging any contact information. Five years later, their paths cross when they wind up on the same flight, but once again, they separate without sharing information.
When their paths cross again five years later, Harry and Sally are both single for the first time in years and decide to try to be friends. They spend an entire year dancing around each other before they sleep together, complicating their relationship. In the original ending, Harry and Sally don't end up together, but thankfully, director Rob Reiner changed it, and instead, the pair end up confessing their love for each other at a New Year's Eve party.
In today’s movie climate, a film covering 10 years is largely unheard of, especially in the romantic comedy genre. If you look at any of the top rom-coms from the last five years, you’ll find that most of them take place over a few days or weeks at most, thrusting the leads into epic, fast-moving relationships with flashy set pieces and high stakes. Slow-burn, friends-to-lovers stories are seen more in television shows like Netflix’s One Day or even Abbott Elementary, thanks to Janine and Gregory’s relationship.
While it makes sense for this time of romance trope to be explored in television shows where there is more time to explore these types of relationships, the classic status of When Harry Met Sally and its ability to continue to move new audiences, like me, is proof that people do want more slow-burn, friends-to-lovers romances.
In my opinion, they’re way more believable than the “love-at-first-sight” style movies that have been dominating the genre for quite some time. I always have a hard time believing two strangers could fall in love in an instant, so movies that set up characters as friends first always work better for me. Plus, there’s just so much more tension when two characters are engaged in a will-they, won’t-they type of relationship, especially when it spans a decade.
Sure, it can be frustrating watching two people dance around each other when it’s clear that they’re made for each other, but it’s the fun kind of frustrating. And it makes the pay-off when they finally get together so much more worth it.
If it was up to me, more romantic-comedy writers would study everything When Harry Met Sally did right and implement it in their own films. Since movies take so long to make, we probably won’t see a resurgence of slow-burn, friends-to-lovers movies in the 2025 releases, but there is always 2026!
Unfortunately, When Harry Met Sally isn’t streaming anywhere, but it is available to rent on Apple TV and Prime Video. And if you’re really interested in seeing if slow-burn romances are better than love-at-first-sight ones, consider checking out Ephron and Ryan’s other film, Sleepless in Seattle -- which I watched for the first time last year.
