Warning! Some spoilers ahead for Avatar: The Way of Water!
I think people were lying to me when they said that Avatar: The Way of Water was a good movie. Obviously, my opinion isn't shared by many, as the movie recently crossed the billion dollar mark, and has an A-rated CinemaScore. Hell, even our very own Corey Chichizola proclaimed that James Cameron struck gold again in his glowing review of the film, and okay. I'm used to being on the outskirts of critical opinion. That's nothing new.
But, here's the thing. I'm not really sure why people love this movie. Tolerate, I can understand. I'll even accept that people “enjoyed” it. But loved? Loved?! Yes, I've read the reviews, and yes, I've heard my own friends on social media rave about it, but I'm not fully going to commit to the idea that people actually loved this movie, because honestly, Avatar: The Way of Water is nothing special.
Now, as a person who loves great old movies (that don't get talked about enough), and would much rather watch the Darren Aronofsky movie, mother! over a movie like Top Gun: Maverick, you might think that I just don't like grand scale spectacles, but I do! I genuinely do! I've seen every Marvel and DC movie ever released, and I've seen countless action movies. So, why didn't I love Avatar: The Way of Water like so many other people? Well…
Pandora Isn't Nearly As Visually Impressive This Second Time Around As It Was With The First Movie
I remember reading articles back in the day about how people loved Pandora so much from the first movie that they needed therapy to come to grips with the fact that it wasn't real, and yeah. That's a bit excessive, but I kind of get it. Pandora in the first movie seemed like a wondrous place, especially with the groundbreaking 3D special effects. I mean, there's a reason why the first Avatar is still the biggest movie ever at the box office. There really was nothing else like it at the time.
But, with Avatar: The Way of Water, there IS something else like it, and it's called the first movie. This time around, I wasn't as impressed with the verdant greens, and the cerulean blues of Pandora. In fact, around 15 minutes in, I was downright bored with it, which isn't a good thing since this is a three-hour long movie (which I'll discuss later).
In fact, my children, who are 7 and 6 (Yes. I know. They’re too young for a PG-13 movie. But hey, my father took me to see Terminator 2: Judgment Day when I was only 8.) were impressed for maybe the first half an hour of the film, but then, my son took off his 3D glasses, and didn't put them back on again for the remainder of the film. My daughter was equally unimpressed, complaining, "You don't even need the glasses to watch this movie."
And look, the only reason I even took my kids to see this film was because I thought they'd be blown away like I was blown away when I first saw Cameron's T2 with my dad, but they weren't, and I wasn't, either. All I could think was, been here, seen this, which isn’t a good feeling to have after 13 years since the last movie.
The Villains Weren't Interesting In The First Film, And Yet, We're Dealing With Them Again?
A lot of people complained that the first Avatar was nothing more than Dances With Wolves meets Ferngully, and whatever. A lot of movies are derivative of something else, so I didn't fault it for not being the most unique story in the world. We all came for the visuals anyway, right?
Well, what is fine for an "original" movie is not as fine for a sequel. In the first movie, Colonel Quaritch (Stephen Lang) was the main antagonist, and guess what, he's the main antagonist again. But, this time, he's resurrected as an Avatar! Because I guess death is meaningless in this universe?
Villains are often resurrected in sequels, so that's nothing new. But, with the villain in the first movie being so underwhelming (Evil military man wants resources. Evil military man is bad.), I had hoped that we'd at least get a much more compelling antagonist this time around. But, unfortunately, we don’t.
That said, here's where seeing your very first PG-13 movie comes in handy, since my children DESPISED Colonel Quaritch, calling him "mean" and "rude" (because that's the full extent of name-calling in my household). The problem though, is that this is not MY first action movie, so Quaritch, who didn't work for me in the first movie, definitely doesn't work for me here. He's just so boring with next to no nuance at all. Lame.
The Story Is Still Just As Predictable This Time Around As It Was In The First Movie
Another complaint that people had with the first movie was that it was too predictable. Storywise, you could tell where it was going, beat-for-beat, from the very beginning. Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) was going to see the error of his ways, respect the "enemy," and then fight right alongside them, hence the Dances With Wolves comparison.
The Way of Water is equally predictable as the original. When my daughter worried about whether one of Jake’s daughters was going to die, I predicted (correctly) that they weren’t, but there had to be at least some sacrifice to get into the third act…and I was right. Again.
When my son wondered whether one of the sons would drown, I again predicted what would happen, and it did. And yes, I know. If a formula works, why tamper with it? I definitely understand this. But, when a movie is willing to take no risks whatsoever, it just seems lazy to me, especially for a sequel. And Cameron wants to make an Avatar 3?! Besides more money, why?
The Alien Life Is Still Pretty Bland, Even With The Addition Of Water
The big new hook for this movie is that we're seeing a different side of Pandora. In fact, we learn in this film that the Na'vi that we've become familiar with are the "tree" people, whereas the ones in the sea are the water people. The water people have evolved differently, having larger hands and bigger tails to make their way through the oceans easier.
In theory, this should make the film feel really unique, but just like the visuals, you get over it rather quickly. What doesn't help is that the new sea life isn't all that impressive, either. You have these whale-like creatures, and some other different animals, but the sea life doesn't feel nearly as diverse as it should. There are no giant squid-like monstrosities, or other really bizarre wildlife to see.
Instead, we're left with some pretty bland fauna that fails to impress or create any sense of awe. I expected WAY more coming from Cameron, as this guy LOVES water. So, I thought we were going to see something totally unique and unlike anything that we'd ever seen on the big screen, but instead, we got some whale-like thingies. Weak.
It Is Way Too Long
Lastly, Avatar: The Way of Water is WAY TOO LONG. Cameron recently commented on how he cut about 10 minutes of gun violence from the film (it's still extremely violent), but I wish he had cut over an hour of footage out of the movie, since the film is too damn long.
I was actually kind of shocked that my kids were able to sit through the whole thing. Before taking my children, I told them that if they were bored, we could leave at any time they wanted (again, we came for the visuals, not the story), but they wanted to stay until the very end, because, as my daughter put it, "By this point, we might as well just finish the movie. But can we get some popcorn?"
You might think that my feelings on the film's length are tainted because I brought two young children to see it, but I’m a man who much prefers a 90 minute movie to an 180 minute one. For example, the only two films I can even think of that I didn't consider to be too long at the three-hour mark were The Lord of the Rings movies, and The Godfather Part II. And, let me tell you, Avatar: The Way of Water is no The Godfather Part II.
Those are just five reasons why I didn't like Avatar: The Way of Water as much as everybody else seems to have liked it. But, what do you think? Did you "love" Avatar 2?
