Tom Hanks Reveals Why Sleepless In Seattle Made Him 'Cranky,' And How He Changed His Attitude

Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle
(Image credit: TriStar Pictures)

Sleepless in Seattle is one of the best rom-coms of the ‘90s. It is sweet, sentimental, and features one of the most likable on-screen duos in the form of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. The dreamy romance has something for everyone, and for such a happy film, you’d assume the cast had a blast behind the scenes of the Nora Ephron classic. It turns out, Hanks was actually quite ‘cranky’ while filming the movie; however, something Ephron said helped change his attitude. 

The Elvis star was recently profiled by The New Yorker, where the actor opened up about his experiences working on some of the most beloved films in Hollywood. He has had several director partnerships with legends like Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, and Nora Ephron, who he worked with on both You’ve Got Mail and Sleepless in Seattle. The Oscar winning actor has said in the past that he was actually quite grumpy when he started working on Sleepless, and now he clarified that much of this came down to him having a different point of view from Ephron when it came to his character. 

I was very cranky, particularly when I first met her to do Sleepless in Seattle, because I was really big and, you know, I had some hits under my belt. We got together, and we were going to make this movie about a guy and a kid and a la di da di da—Sleepless in Seattle. And she was very intimidating, right off the bat. When we were working on the rehearsals for it, I realized that one of the things that was driving me nuts about the project is that Nora and Delia Ephron, who helped on the screenplay, are—-sisters, but they are also mothers. It was a movie about a father. And I said, ‘You guys are the wrong gender to understand what’s going on in this scene between me and my son.’

The conflict is understandable. Oftentimes writers scribble stories from their own experiences and the personal relationships in their own life. In the film Hank’s character, Sam, is a widower raising his son on his own, while he starts to date again after the loss. The father/son relationship is the beating heart of the movie; regardless, it can be hard to capture if the writer is coming from the perspective of a mother/son relationship. Luckily, this conflict was resolved due to the collaborative nature of how Ephron works. She responded well to the actor’s pushback, loving the difference in point of view. The Cast Away star went on to say:

And she loved it. ‘Oh, Tom, tell me more.’ And the argument I had was, ‘You have written a scene in which a father is undone by the fact that his son is upset about him going out with a woman.’ Oh, no. I said, ‘There is not a father on the planet Earth who is gonna give a rat’s ass what his son thinks about him going out with a woman. Because you know what that father wants to do? He wants to get laid. And that’s what’s missing from your little gender-ish scene that you wrote.’ And she said, ‘Well, then, why don’t you say that?’ That was a very empowering moment. She would often say this: ‘Well, when you’re right, you’re right.’

This collaboration and meshing of the minds is what makes that relationship so special in the film. While great minds often think alike, sometimes they think completely differently, and when these differences come together, it creates something truly magical. This addition by Hanks makes Sam believable as a real man, and not just a female fantasy. Still, Ephron’s gentle writing makes him such an empathetic character, and the actor's charm is what makes the character so captivating. Not only does Meg Ryan fall in love with him, the audience does as well. 

The Forrest Gump actor has complimented Ephron on her strong vision in the past, so clearly this working experience really stuck with him. He went on to make another romantic classic with the writer/director, and also continued to work with Meg Ryan multiple more times. Clearly this initial bad mood didn’t put a damper on his working relationships, and he continues to have reputation as one of the nicest actors in the movie business.

Tom Hanks fans can see the actor in his latest film Asteroid City, which will hit theaters on June 23rd. Rom-com junkies who want to revisit Sleepless in Seattle do so now with a Netflix subscription. For more information on other films coming to cinemas and streaming in the near future, make sure to consult our 2023 movie release schedule.

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Caroline Young
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Writer, podcaster, CinemaBlend contributor, film and television nerd, enthusiastic person. Hoping to bring undying passion for storytelling to CinemaBlend.