Spoilers below for anyone who hasn't yet watched Robert Eggers' Nosferatu, so be warned (and protect your neck).
Given the filmmaker's impressive filmography to date, Robert Eggers' Nosferatu was a project I'd longingliy anticipated as much as anything else in 2024 or any upcoming horror movie yet to debut. And while it certainly excelled in many ways that help justify some of its early critical acclaim, the film's successes aren't the elements that have been stuck in my brain in the weeks since watching. No, I've instead been unintentionally unable to think about anything beyond the elements that took me out of the movie the most.
So instead of just silently stewing as I have been, I'll attempt to purge these thoughts from my mind like the rat-surfaced plague that they are, while also championing a couple of highlights as well. But first, the worst.
Orlok's Mustache Is The Most Monstrous Thing About Nosferatu
To make things perfectly clear, I think Bill Skarsgård's performance overall is delightfully unsettling, even when the character's actions are only happening through shadows and silhouettes. The prosthetics and make-up that cover the actor's body are exquisite in how off-putting he is from literally every single angle. I can understand why Eggers & Co. have worked dilligently to keep Orlok's visage as hidden as possible from those who haven't yet watched it. Because that mustache should 100% stay hidden for as long as possible.
Plus, that kind of secrecy also means that when a logistically bonkers costume detail is revealed for the first time — [points both pointers and both big toes at Orlok's mustache] — it's almost impossible not to hang every other opinion around it. Example: "Oh wow, that scene was gnarly, but not as gnarly as the way Orlok's mustache resembles the wet grass that surrounds a septic tank."
With inspiration assumedly taken from illustrations of Vlad the Impaler, Orlok's facial hair is already such a stark part of his gaunt face, but it's also essentially the only distinguishing element about his body, which is otherwise seemingly devoid of hair. I wouldn't have thought ages-old scarred and scabbed skin would be a prettier sight than anybody's 'stache, but I stand corrected, facing the opposite direction.
And you know what? I might have even grown to not staunchly abhor it over time had there been any form of direct explanation for its existence. Can he really not grow hair anywhere else on his body? Does he just really love that look? Does he have to pre-wet it before keeping it still wet all day long? Why isn't HE as fucking disgusted by it as I am?
It's arguably the element of Nosferatu that's most ripe for Scary Movie to parody with reckless abandon, and I can't help but hope that a Tom Selleck cameo is involved. Now that's a timeless mustache.
Orlok Sounds Way Too Much Like Nandor From What We Do In The Shadows
Similar to my feelings about Orlok's look, I think Bill Skarsgård also kills it with his vocal performance. The vampire's voice is gravelly and deep throughout, with a range of intensity thoughout that is handled extremely well by everyone involved with the sound design and sound editing. Sometimes it feels like Orlok is right there behind you, ready to make your face jump right off your skull from his stupid mustache being so close.
But for all that it sounds splendid, I found that I could not hear the character's Eastern-European accent without immediately thinking about Kayvan Novak's Nandor the Relentless in What We Do in the Shadows. And while I realize the similarities are perhaps due to successful performances on both actors' parts, and I hold no ill will towards Skarsgård for the way he handles it. But did that stop me from whispering "Guillermoooo" multiple times after Orlok finished a sentence? Not a chance.
I guess it was kind of nice to be reminded of Nandor in any context, given What We Do in the Shadows' series finale aired in November 2024, but such comedic undertones might have been more welcomed in any other movie, even if I understand why it happened in another vampire project.
A Few Other Nosferatu Takeaways
- I agree with CinemaBlend colleague Mike Reyes' thoughts about Robert Eggers creating such palpable dread throughout the film in a way that isn't utilized nearly as much as it should in modern horror.
- Somewhat echoing the above point, Eggers and cinematographer Jarin Blaschke brought both classic and modern camera techniques to Nosferatu that definitely helped keep audiences uneasy, particularly when it came to slow and methodical pans across rooms.
- While Bill Skarsgård quite possibly gives the best performance in the movie, the one that I genuinely enjoyed the most was the completely unhinged display from Simon McBurney as the vamp-fixated Knock. Fangs to my neck, I'd sincerely claim that McBurney is better in his relatively few scenes than Lily-Rose Depp, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Emma Corwin combined.
- Much like every other Willem Dafoe-starring movie has proven in recent years, every movie should have Willem Dafoe in it. His weird ass portrayal might be the only purposeful slice of levity in the movie, and it was both welcomed and appreciated.
- I'd like to still be thinking about the not-so-obvious changes to the original tale that were made for this movie, but that mustache keeps dripping unfamiliar fluids all over my other opinions.
If Robert Eggers made Nosferatu because he was so obsessed with the original movie during a time when it was extremely difficult to find, then does that mean I'm going to make a movie specifically about Orlok's oatmeal-sopped mustache someday? I'd like to think it's a different kind of obsession. I really, really would.
Nosferatu is still biting the chest and neck that feed in theaters now. It's reportedly heading to digital platforms for rent and purchase on January 21, but that has yet to be confirmed by Focus Features.
