With All Of The Music Biopics Happening These Days, Where The Hell's My Steely Dan Movie Already?

Whenever somebody asks me what I think is America’s greatest band, I always come up with three possible answers–The Wu-Tang Clan (Yes, I consider them a band), They Might Be Giants, or Steely Dan.

While we’ve gotten the TV show, Wu-Tang: An American Saga (which was co-created by The RZA), the closest we’re likely going to get to a They Might Be Giants movie or TV show is probably the 1971 film that the band got their name from. However, the band that I’m most upset that we might never get a biopic for is Steely Dan, because like, what the hell, man?

Yes, I know, this might be a difficult one since the surviving member, Donald Fagen, doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would want a biopic made about the band. In other words, this doesn’t seem like the Elton John movie, Rocketman, or one of the best music movies of all time, Ray, as those frontmen seemed to relish being in the limelight. That said, we've gotten MULTIPLE movies about Bob Dylan now, and the excellent Johnny Cash biopic, Walk the Line, and those musicians seem more guarded. So, here’s why I desperately want, nay, NEED a Steely Dan biopic.

Steely Dan Has An Interesting History That Could Translate Well To The Screen

First question. Do you know why the band is called Steely Dan in the first place? I mean, fans know, but I’m not really writing this article for fans. I’m writing this article to convince nonfans that a Steely Dan movie would be awesome.

Time’s up. They’re named after a sex toy. I’m dead serious. A steam-powered one at that. They got their name from the William S. Burroughs novel, Naked Lunch (Which was turned into one of David Cronenburg’s best movies, by the way), and, uh, yeah. So, why is that important? Well, I think it perfectly represents both the band’s cheekiness, which often gets overlooked, and the literary quality of their music, as I’ve always viewed Steely Dan as the cerebral music fan’s band.

Name aside though, the history of the band itself is pretty fascinating. Starting off as a more conventional band (Their debut album, Can’t Buy a Thrill, actually has David Palmer–the musician, not 24’s David Palmer, silly–as a lead singer), they then became more of a two-piece band with just Fagen and Walter Becker on subsequent albums.

In fact, they stopped touring altogether for a while and just became studio musicians, inviting other musicians in to record with them. And, you know how Stanley Kubrick (Who is my favorite director) is often described as being a perfectionist? Well, Becker and Fagen were like the Stanley Kubrick of musicians, since they supposedly would make other musicians record sections over and over again until they got the exact sound that they wanted.

Becker and Fagen also broke up in the ‘80s and did their own thing for a while before coming back together in the ‘90s, which I think could be an interesting dynamic to see since they both seem like they were made to play together but also had interesting work apart, too. I mostly just think that Steely Dan is cool, and a movie going through their history would be neat. Oh, and also…

Whomever Would Play Donald Fagen Would Likely Be Up For Best Actor

The biggest appeal of Steely Dan is their music, of course, but also Donald Fagen himself, who is an enigmatic figure. After Timothee Chalamet wowed us all as Bob Dylan (Though there are more stories to be told!), he was, of course, up for Best Actor. In fact, a lot of actors who portray famous musicians end up being nominated for Best Actor.

Not only that, but some of them even win, with Jamie Foxx and Rami Malek being two such examples for Ray and Bohemian Rhapsody, respectively. Well, I think anybody who gets behind those black shades to portray Donald Fagen would likely be up for Best Actor, too, since it seems like a really complex role.

For one thing, Fagen has some of the most interesting, mysterious lyrics of all time (I mean, have YOU ever seen a squonk’s tears?), but he also seems like the kind of guy who would be silent for an entire evening if you went out to dinner with him.

He’s also suffered from depression. A lot of this can be heard in his music (Especially his solo albums–which would be another cool area to explore in a biopic), but I think a great actor could really sink their teeth into a role like this, and it could create some movie magic.

It really all depends on what period of Steely Dan this hypothetical film would cover, though. Oh, and about that…

The Soundtrack Would Be Fantastic

Now, here’s my caveat. The only way that I would ever want a Steely Dan biopic is if we actually got to hear the band’s music! I don’t want anything like the Jimi Hendrix movie, Jimi: All Is by My Side, in which we didn’t have any songs written by Hendrix. That just does not work for me.

This might be the hardest part of all about getting a Steely Dan biopic because I’m not certain that Fagen would be okay with letting somebody else have creative control over the band’s music. Yes, if he provided input and was deeply involved with the project, I could see that happening, but I honestly don’t think he would want to be deeply involved with a project that showcased both the band’s highs and lows.

That said, let’s just say that Fagen did give the go-ahead for a Steely Dan biopic and was okay with people using both the band’s music as well as his solo projects. Well, then I think that would be one of the greatest movie soundtracks of all time.

The band changed a lot throughout their lengthy career, and their sound on Can’t Buy a Thrill was completely different (and yet similar) to albums like Aja, Pretzel Logic, and their Album of the Year-winning, Two Against Nature.

And that evolution (and yet, consistency) of their sound would make for such an excellent soundtrack. I can already hear it in my head. It would be so good!

It Could Handle Their Break Up, As Well As Walter Becker's Death

Steely Dan is known for their jazzy sound, and Donald Fagen is mostly the face of the band, but Walter Becker's contribution can't be overlooked. When the band was cooking in the ‘70s, Becker's work on the strings definitely contributed to their signature sound.

They made seven glorious albums together, from 1973's Can't Buy a Thrill to 1980's Gaucho, and then they broke up.

Becker's drug use and the death of his girlfriend is often cited as the reason why they stayed apart for so long, but I'd love to see this section of both Becker's and Fagen's lives explored before they came back together in the ‘90s, and then ultimately released their two last albums, 2000's Two Against Nature, and 2003's Everything Must Go.

And, since they won Album of the Year for Two Against Nature, I could see this hypothetical movie ending here.

Or, it could end at Becker's death in 2017, with Fagen deliberating whether he would retire the band out of respect for his friend or continue the legacy without him (he kept going). Either way, a film like this could show their fascinating relationship.

It Could Get Young People Who Know Nothing About The Band To Learn About Them

Lastly, I'd love a Steely Dan movie since it could get young people who know nothing about the band into the group.

Because do you want to know the first time I ever really heard of Steely Dan? In the Paul Rudd movie, Knocked Up. In the film, Seth Rogen's character basically says that Steely Dan sucks, and for the longest time, I just believed him. Why else would they put that in the movie if they were actually good?

Then, when I actually bought a Steely Dan record (it was their Greatest Hits), I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Steely Dan didn't suck. They're awesome! That's what I want non-fans to learn through a movie about them. Steely Dan is one of the coolest bands with one of the greatest album catalogs ever, and I want more people to know that.

But, what do you think? Do you also love Steely Dan? I'd love to hear your thoughts.