The superhero genre most certainlyy would not be where it is today without the influence of the X-Men franchise. Over the course of the last two decades, the series has been responsible for some of the coolest on-screen comic book adventures ever committed to film. Additionally, as the series continues to evolve and grow, we’ve found ourselves treated to some of the best depictions of comic book characters in any cinematic action franchise to date.
All that being said, for the X-Men series’ immense highs, it also has some pretty steep lows. The series has shown us some awesome sequences, but has also featured some insanely dumb moments over the years. We’ve gone through every film in the X-Men mythos and pulled out eight of the dumbest moments from the entire X-Men franchise. We love this series, but it’s far from perfect; now let’s get started with the one moment we’re likely all thinking of…
"I'm The Juggernaut, Bitch" (The Last Stand)
You all knew this one was coming. Any hopes we had that X-Men: The Last Stand would somehow stick the landing after an uneven first two acts were quickly dashed when a horribly miscast Juggernaut (Vinnie Jones, really?) cited a famous YouTube video and proudly proclaimed "I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!" This soul-crushingly dumb moment consistently reminds us that The Last Stand has no reverence for the characters it’s adapting, and instead wants to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Juggernaut’s actually a pretty damn awesome character from the comics, but the film turned him into a walking cockney meme with absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever.
Adamantium Bullets Cause Amnesia (X-Men Origins: Wolverine)
No film in the X-Men canon is more indefensible than X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It’s a complete mess of bad writing, lazy filmmaking, and almost no respect for the intelligence of the fans. Arguably the dumbest moment in the entire film comes when Danny Huston’s William Stryker loads adamantium bullets into a revolver, and proceeds to shoot Logan in the head with the full intention of wiping his memories clean... becuase comic books. By itself, this actually could have been a cool moment – if the amnesia was an unintended side effect of Stryker’s attempt to kill Wolverine. Instead, we’re treated to terribly forced exposition where Stryker bluntly states that he’s trying to induce amnesia because he isn’t sure whether or not he can actually kill Wolverine. We get it, this is a prequel to a movie series that we all love; you don’t need to beat us over the head with that fact.
"Do You Know What Happens To A Toad When It's Struck By Lightning?" (X-Men)
"The same thing that happens to everything else." This has to represent the quintessential example of lazy script writing. We’ve come to expect cheesy one-liners from our action movies over the years, but Storm’s attempt at sounding like a badass just comes across as horribly stupid, and shockingly lazy (which is a surprise, considering it's a one-off script polish by the usually clever Joss Whedon). Storm never really recovered from this moment as a character, as Halle Berry’s portrayal of the supposed African queen consistently maintained this same level of camp throughout her remaining tenure in the franchise. Dumb, and disappointing.
Not Bringing Quicksilver To Paris or The White House (Days Of Future Past)
Evan Peters’ Quicksilver has become arguably the breakout fan-favorite of the new X-Men continuity. He’s cocky, he’s brash, and his powers are a hell of a lot of fun. For some strange reason, after he proves that he’s easily the most useful member of the Days of Future Past team at the Pentagon, Professor X, Beast, and Wolverine don’t enlist his help for any other portion of their continuing adventure. We can sort of understand them not taking a child all the way to Paris, but it makes no sense that they didn’t call upon him to once again make his way to DC again when they head to the White House to try and stop Mystique. In a great movie, it’s a glaring plot hole.
Noted Psychic Charles Xavier Tries To Reason With The President (X2: X-Men United)
Professor X has consistently shown himself to be a paragon of compassion and understanding – to a certain point. He will most certainly try to reason with you, but he’s not above using his powers to help you make the right decision if necessary. At the end of X2, Charles Xavier and his team of X-Men sneak into the Oval Office to flex the muscle of the mutant community, and explain that a war is coming in which they will most certainly become active combatants. Then, they just sort of leave. We understand that it’s not a "heroic" thing to brainwash the leader of the free world, but for the sake of mutants everywhere, Professor X should’ve considered using a little bit more power to convince the President of the mutant cause.
Not Calling The Mutant Program Weapon X (Deadpool)
We’re admittedly nitpicking with this one, and that’s simply a testament to how good of a movie Deadpool is. That being said, it makes no sense why Deadpool didn’t opt to use Weapon X as the backdrop for the mutant workshop. One of the few critiques of Deadpool is that it never quite feels truly embedded in the proper X-Men universe, and having Wade Wilson take part in Weapon X (as he does in the comics) would have solved that problem with minimal effort. This wouldn’t even require a Wolverine or William Stryker cameo – just a simple name drop to let people know that Wade Wilson is about to step into a place that we know to fear.
Yashida's Plan To Steal Logan's Healing Factor (The Wolverine)
The idea that someone would want to steal Wolverine’s healing factor to avoid death actually seems like a fairly awesome idea for an X-Men storyline. How The Wolverine managed to mess that simple idea up will forever remain a mystery to us. Yashida’s plan to steal Logan’s healing abilities involve infecting him with a parasite that neutralizes his healing – threatening the very safety of his prized target – and then just sort of letting him go free. The film clearly shows that Yashida has an army of ninjas at his disposal, so it makes no sense that they didn’t just dog pile on Logan at the beginning of the movie and lock him into the machine that would extract his healing factor from his bone marrow. Obviously we would have had a much shorter movie if they had gone that route, but it would have made more sense.
The Four Horsemen Quickly Fall Apart After All That Build Up (Apocalypse)
After all that build up, En Sabah Nur’s Four Horsemen never really get a chance to shine during the events of X-Men: Apocalypse. Magneto does his whole "global magnet" thing before turning on Apocalypse, Storm runs away and cowers before also turning on Apocalypse, Angel is killed, and Psylocke just sort of walks away while no one is looking. For real, that happens. We’re not saying that they don’t get some good shots in; the portion of the film where the X-Men fight the Horsemen is actually pretty awesome. However, it’s ultimately an incredibly short sequence and never quite lives up to the amount of time the film spends setting up the threat these characters pose.
