Right before Halloween last year, when I warned you about the five lamest movie-related costumes, we were dealing with a bunch of memorable characters from that year's movies that were so popular they would inevitably be overdone by the time you hit the streets for Halloween parties. This year the situation is very different, and a lot more grim: there are plenty of movies that have made money this year, but precious few memorable characters, and virtually no one you'd want to be caught dead dressed as.
Just in case you didn't yet get the memo, though, I'm here to run down the 9 lamest costumes related to this year's movies (and Avatar, though it was released last December so it counts). Not all of them are from bad movies or are even necessarily bad characters, but each of them seem like a bad call, whether you're planning to hand out candy for the neighborhood kids or convince that cutie dressed as Ripley from Aliens to go home with you. (Ripley from Aliens, by the way, is a timelessly awesome costume. Just FYI)
Check out our list of the 9 worst costume ideas below, and try not to take it personally if you've already got these picked out. Halloween isn't until Sunday, so it's not too late to change.
Shrek (Mike Myers), Shrek Forever After
Because: Nobody even remembers a Shrek movie came out this year, and that's because the character wore out his welcome years ago. Just because your kids laugh at Mike Myers' Scottish accent doesn't mean they-- and anyone else you might be meeting-- won't be worn out by you attempting the same.
If you absolutely must: Tweak it: go as post-apocalyptic Shrek, Inception Shrek, anything that's got a shred of creativity-- unlike the movie itself.
Alice (Mia Wasikowska), Alice in Wonderland
Because: You may think the perennial Alice costume is fresher and newer this year thanks to the hit movie, but Alice was still the dullest part of the movie that bore her name, and even her costume from the new movie wasn't that good.
If you absolutely must: Be Alice in the armor she wears while fighting the Jabberwocky.
Perseus (Sam Worthington), Clash of the Titans/Prince Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal), Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Because: They are characters so generic, and in movies so forgettable, that I'm lumping them together. I bet in 10 years you won't even remember which actor was in which movie.
If you absolutely must: Go as both at the same time, with a Kraken in one hand and the sands of time in another. Shout "Release the sands of time!" in Liam Neeson's voice for maximum schizophrenia.
Reed Bennett (Ashton Kutcher), Valentine's Day
Because: It won't get you laid. Yes, I know the movie made a ton of money. Yes, I know you think wearing a pink hat will make you look sensitive. Yes, I know it's an excuse to carry around a giant bouquet of flowers all night to hand out to deserving ladies. But trust me: it will not get you laid.
If you absolutely must: Get laid and prove me wrong.
Any of the Expendables (Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, etc. etc.), The Expendables
Because: The black flak jacket/black beret look is pretty cool, and it's always fun to carry around fake weapons on Halloween, but anybody without an Adonis body will look ridiculous in that getup, and no offense, but I just don't feel like you're at Statham muscle level right now.
If you absolutely must: Be Mickey Rourke, wear a stupid hat, cry into a mirror about your days in Bosnia all night.
Freddy Krueger (Jackie Earle Haley), A Nightmare on Elm Street
Because: The memory of the classic horror villain was tarnished so recently with this year's awful reboot. It's just too soon.
If you absolutely must: Ask any teenagers you see if they saw the new movie, and if they say yes, threaten them with your knife hands and tell them to never make that mistake again.
Robin Hood (Russell Crowe), Robin Hood
Because: I'm not really even sure how you'd dress as Russell Crowe's Robin Hood-- wear a bunch dirty shirts and talk in an unidentifiable accent?-- but if you did your Halloween night would inevitably be as long, pointless and unfulfilling as Ridley Scott's movie.
If you absolutely must: Dress as the fox Robin Hood from the Disney movie. You know, the real Robin Hood.
Aang (Noah Ringer), The Last Airbender
Because: You may love the original TV show and want to pay tribute to your favorite character, but everyone is going to think you're a fan of the M. Night Shyamalan movie, and everyone is going to laugh at you.
If you absolutely must: Surround yourself with a protective circle of friends who will explain things for you when you get sick of having to do it yourself. Barring that, actually learn how to bend air.
Any Na'vi (Zoe Saldana, Sam Worthington, CCH Pounder, etc.), Avatar
Because: The movie came out last December, which means it was too late for last Halloween, but now way too late for this year. Sorry, you just missed the window.
If you absolutely must: Spend a ton of money on it, James Cameron style. You'll still look really dorky, but people will be impressed despite themselves.
