It’s bad when we have a news story to report that nobody wants to cover. It’s even worse when we have a news story to report that causes us bodily harm just by coming in contact with it. This is one of those. Moments after watching this trailer my brains started oozing out my nose, taking leave of its former shell of protection, that obviously wasn’t protective enough. Either that or I had an allergy attack, but considering this is an Uwe Boll project, I’m still putting my money on the former.
With less brains around to provide common sense, I’m going ahead and putting this out there: there’s a second trailer available for Uwe Boll’s currently being produced (but thankfully still without a distributor) Bloodrayne. Yes, it’s Uwe Boll, so it must be based on a video game, and it must suck. If the trailer doesn’t give you complete confidence that this is the suckiest suck to ever suck, I’d have to question your sanity. (actually, it does look better than Alone in the Dark, but not much).
This second trailer goes into greater depth on the plot (or lack thereof) of Bloodrayne, the film that proves Boll uses a bottle of chloroform and a shotgun to acquire his cast. Even though Boll has produced bomb after bomb, somehow he’s managed to get Michael Madsen (Reservoir Dogs), Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3), Michelle Rodriguez (Resident Evil), Ben Kingsley (Ghandi) and Meat Loaf (Rocky Horror Picture Show). What the hell is Meat Loaf doing making a movie like this? Apparently cocaine is a mean little monster that robs you of both your wallet and your dignity.
The trailer is only available in Windows Media, and is a download, not a streaming video. Click the link below to add the horror to your hard drive and deprive yourself of brain power.
