And we’re back with the second installment of CB Recommends. After absolutely crushing the debut last week with both Bill Hicks references and c-bombs, our newest weekly feature is shooting for more Godfather Part II than Coke II, but honestly, we’d settle for Step Up 2: The Streets. They made the most of it without Channing Tatum, and we’ll do the same here.
In case you missed the rational between CB Recommends, let me give you a quick rundown of where we’re coming from. Most people don’t go the movies multiple times in one weekend. There’s just too much other shit to do out there like chant USA and get into freak gasoline fight accidents; so, when you do go, it’s imperative you make the most of it. That doesn’t always mean seeing the best movie or the one with the most buzz. You have the match the theatrical release to your goal for the night. CB Recommends is here to complete those mazes and connect those dots, leaving you with all the right information to make the best decision for yourself. So, without further ado, here is what Cinema Blend recommends for the week of May 6th, 2011…
If you want to see the best movie, CB recommends...
…getting your ass kicked by Thor. Head Honcho Josh Tyler privately told me it was the best film Marvel has ever made, and CB’s Managing Editor Katey Rich had nothing but praise in her three-and-a-half star review. All estimates seem to indicate Thor is likely to hammer fist this weekend’s box office, and if you have any interest in keeping up with the conversation on Monday, we firmly suggest you view the adapted Norse legend. Or don’t and risk missing more of Kat Dennings’ stellar cleavage.
If you're desperate to get your wedding fix, CB recommends...
...being mildly entertained by Something Borrowed. You’ve got two choices this week, matrimony fanatics. There’s Something Borrowed and Jumping The Broom. None of us here at Cinema Blend have seen either, but early reports seem to indicate Something Borrowed is a half step below average. That’s likely to be a step and a half above Jumping The Broom, which I can’t imagine won’t be truly awful. Make the smart choice. Pick meh minus over terrible plus. Or stay at home and watch Kate Middleton’s hot sister Pippa again at the Royal Wedding.
If you want to see the best indie, CB recommends...
...selling out alongside Morgan Spurlock in The Greatest Movie Ever Sold. The Blend’s Eric Eisenberg was very kind to the Supersize Me director in his four star review, and it’s hard to imagine anyone not having a good time at what’s sure to be one of the higher grossing documentaries of the year. Plus, there should be decidedly less dry heaving in this film than his earlier efforts. Ordinarily, it’s hard to strike up a conversation about an under the radar indie, but there’s been enough hype surrounding Spurlock, that people probably will listen to what you have to say. Bonus points for not sounding like a pretentious movie prick.
If you just want to plant on the couch, CB recommends...
...having some fun with Green Hornet. New on DVD and Blu-Ray this week, the Seth Rogen superhero attempt might not have the excitement of The Dark Knight or the comedy of The Shadow, but it’s a pleasant enough way to spend two hours. Isn’t that what staying home is all about anyway? Somone looking to snag a ten out of ten time on the fun scale is gonna get off his ass and go do something, but those content to sit at home are looking for passable amusement. The Green Hornet delivers that in spades. Consider pairing the film with Ritz crackers, Jif peanut butter and Mountain Dew. It’s what Jesus would pick if he had a do over on his last meal.
Watch The Green Hornet right here, right now with Amazon Instant Watch.
CB Recommends answers your email.
No more than four or five hours after CB Recommends went to print last week, we were bombarded with emails (three to be exact) and comments from readers asking for specific recommendations on what the ideal film to watch might be in certain situations. At first we were annoyed because they just created more work, but after much soul searching, we have decided to expand the column and answer one reader email per week. After all, like the police, we are here to protect and serve your needs.
Dear CB Recommends,My girlfriend and I got into an argument the other day about whether there were three or four kids on Home Improvement. Obviously I was right. She thought there was a fourth one named Greg. WTF? Anyway, as a condition of this loss, she has to sit down and watch any movie of my choosing. At first I thought I’d go with porn, but now I’m thinking a really violent action movie is in order. What do you recommend?Wayne from Las Vegas
Well played, Wayne. Outside of arm wrestling talent, knowing cultural facts is the best way to win bets. We would be happy to recommend Abel Ferrara’s King Of New York. This underseen gem from 1990 is high on boobs and merciless death. Plus it has Christopher Walken, Wesley Snipes, Lawrence Fishburne, Steve Buscemi and David Caruso. It makes Taken look like He’s Just Not That Into You.
Watch The King of New York right now with Amazon Instant Watch.
Want even more viewing advice? Check out our CB Recommends archive.
