Each week DVDs come out. Some of them are worth your time and money and some aren’t. Some of them are movies I’ve seen, and some of them aren’t. Regardless, I give you my opinion on the big releases of the week. Take it or leave it, here’s the DVD Blend.
Beaches - Ah, the ultimate chick flick. I hate this movie with a passion, not because it’s a bad movie, but because of the blubbering woman the flick turns me into. Much like Titanic, I can’t hear the film’s theme song for days after seeing the movie without bawling my eyes out. It’s really a sad site to behold, and to save the world from it I avoid watching this film at all costs. Luckily Josh has already covered this DVD release, complete with listening to “Did You Ever Know You’re My Hero” some umpteen billion times. Josh - you’re my hero for covering this and allowing me to stay as far away from Bette Midler as possible. I’m betting even some of the women in our critics circle are thanking their lucky stars they won’t have to sit through this.
Blade: Trinity - I pretty much lost interest in the Blade movies after the first one. The first movie exceeded my expectations, turning in a pretty cool modern day vampire movie that was darn close to its source material... as far as I could tell anyway. I mean really, does anyone actually read Blade as a comic book? I’m betting the comic has changed to adapt the Wesley Snipes look instead of the cool cat of the ‘70s Blade used to be. Regardless, I wasn’t much of a fan of the comic books, and I lost interest after the first flick, especially when I heard they were bringing back characters who had been killed in the first movie. As such, the third film was completely of no interest to me. Some people saw it though, and a few even liked it, so if you were interested in the first two movies, the third one might be of interest to you as well.
Darkness - Another film that passed me by, I’ve been told I’m actually better off for missing the theatrical release. It seems the American release of the film had almost fifteen minutes of footage removed, which has been restored in this week’s Unrated Version. Of course, for those who prefer the shorter, choppier version, that’s available too. Either way, the film tells the story of Anna Paquin moving out to a scary home in the country. You know, between movies like this and Blair Witch Project the country has really gotten a bad rap. I’m surprised anyone wants to live out there anymore, or even visit... which might explain why I haven’t gone home to visit my parents in years. Or at least that’s the excuse I’ll use the next time they call...
House of Wax - Paris Hilton, is there anything you won’t ruin? No, this isn’t her modern day adaptation, as much as it looks like it should be a direct to video flick (or sounds like a documentary on her plastic surgery). This is the original House of Wax starring Vincent Price. Obviously as a film of the ‘50s this classic focused more on suspense then the gore and terror the new film will use for it’s scary moments. Unfortunately it doesn’t look like this DVD is presenting the film in it’s native 3D vision, one of the first films to utilize 3D technology (ironic as the film’s director was blind in one eye and unable to see the effect), which means the movie is just a re-release on DVD timed to cash in on the theatrical remake. Poor Vincent deserves better treatment, but rest assured with Paris Hilton in the remake, he’ll never see much worse than how this horror classic is being handled.
Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events - Jim Carrey really needs to pick a side. I know there’s such a thing as diversity, but moving back and forth from serious stuff like Eternal Sunshine to something like this just seems like too much. It’s a real shame too, because he’s really proven his mettle as a serious actor, but I think critics just don’t take him as seriously when he turns back into rubber face. Apparently he’s the saving grace of Lemony Snicket, which still isn’t saying much. The movie is based on the series of children’s books, which despite being called popular, have been pretty much stuck eclipsed by Harry Potter. Conveniently, this adaptation hit theaters in between Harry Potter movies and books, taking advantage of the lack of a boy wizard to disturb A Series of Unfortunate Events. The DVD release comes in two flavors - a single disc edition with a fair amount of extras, and a two disc special edition as well, which has all the features of the single disc release, and then a second disc that goes into more detail on the effects. Given my lackluster approach to this film, can you guess which one I suggest picking up?
Survivor: The Australian Outback - Yes, the CB Pick of the Week goes to a television show. This is the season where “Survivor” really came together as a series. The first season (which was released eons ago) brought the new concept of the show to the public. “The Australian Outback” showed just how wicked the players could be. The concept of the show wasn’t new to these 16 survivors, who knew about the first show and utilized their desire for fame and money and their knowledge of how the first show worked to bring the franchise to its greatest height. With many seasons having passed since “Australia”, the show has never matched the greatness of Jerri, Colby, Keith, Captain Kel, and Michael Skupin. While I’m not a huge advocate of picking reality shows up on DVD (you already know who’s going to win) the dynamic of these people is just too great to pass up.
