The life of a high school gym teacher is a slacker’s paradise. The perfect living for an ex-jock who never wanted to leave high school. Nowadays, it’s not very P.C. to mock those who make their living at physical education, but I personally have never seen any evidence to the contrary. I have had three gym teachers in my life, and they all were Al Bundy clones who spent most of their time making fun of the fat kids and hitting on the more attractive coeds. One of my college buddies even had a good friend who had sex with her gym teacher and later married him. It was like a daytime soap storyline with more ugly people and less Susan Lucci.
In a brilliant move, Fox Atomic has realized the potential for gym teacher hilarity and intends to capitalize on this untapped laugh-out-loud niche market. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the studio has picked up a Ryan Jaffe comedy entitled Don’t Lean On Me. The script will follow an ambitionless assistant high school physical educator who is randomly promoted to principal. This, obviously, infuriates the lazy, serial sloth causing untold amounts of extra work and heartache. My uncle once quipped, “I’ve had jobs that involved hard work. I’ve had jobs that required responsibility. My only goal is to find one where I have neither.” Something tells me he would have hated this promotion too.
There’s no casting news as of yet, and a general timetable is yet to be announced. But I am incredibly excited about this motion picture and if the producers are listening, I would like to recommend David Koechner. He has both the perfect physique and lack of desire to portray every dodgeball instructor I have ever seen.
