The following video contains spoilers for Gravity that go beyond "everything breaks." Be warned.
No matter how recently you see the film upon which they are based, watching Screen Junkies’ Honest Trailers is kind of like watching one of your favorite films from childhood as an adult - the nostalgic sheen is washed away by now-obvious plot holes and story problems. The latest film to take the plunge is Alfonso Cuarón’s Gravity, one of the most theatrical experiences cinema had to offer in 2013. But as the above video points out, it was also a movie that would have worked just as well if it were muted, as much of the film’s dialogue and music are essentially useless. They should have had some good tunes up there.
But before it even gets to skewing the film itself, there’s a moment to bemoan the fact that once the film leaves theaters and the home releases come out, people will probably be watching it on tablets and phones, which would strongly diminish the enjoyment factor. I mean, how are you supposed to see that constant ring of debris behind your thumbprints?
We’re now only two weeks away from seeing how well Gravity does at this year’s Academy Awards, as it’s been nominated in ten categories, for everything from direction to visual effects to sound editing. It’s easy to see how the film would sweep the categories involving the ridiculously time-consuming effects work, but the Honest Trailer gives a pretty damned good argument as to why no voters should be picking it for Best Picture, nor should they give Sandra Bullock the award for Best Actress.
This is a film with a central story that can be written on the back of a coin, and the events in the film and Bullock’s performance work in similar ways, doing the same thing looped over and over again. Crash! Gasp! Alarm! Crash! Gasp! Alarm! The funniest part of the video to me was matching her "No, no, no, no!" with those of Shia LaBeouf’s performances. I’m still not sure why Dr. Ryan Stone was ever sent up there on a three-person mission to begin with. I guess they needed someone to balance the George Clooney-ness of George Clooney.
All that said, it was still a huge film with a lot to like. Particularly the story about the hairy guy and the destruction of everything manmade in space. I may just have to go against ScreenJunkies’ advice and watch this on my phone anyway, just to see how it looks, with my headphones’ earbuds shoved firmly into the couch.
Want a real Gravity trailer? Try and grab on to this one. Nope, it floated away. Try again.
