Those terrifying feelings I had a few months ago when rumors about the lack of Zaphod’s second head started floating around have returned… with a vengeance.
This morning two things happened. First, I remembered that this was the day Alone in the Dark opens, and immediately became depressed, realizing that there were people who were actually going to go out and see it. That’s just not right. Second, CHUD posted pictures of action figures modeled from all the characters in the upcoming HHG movie. Zaphod has only one head. Click here to see the pics.
Let me repeat that: Zaphod has only one head. Where is Zaphod's other head? In response to the fear no doubt gripping HHG fandom, the people nominally in charge of the burning barge known as the Hitchhiker’s Guide movie made this statement: “We hate you”. Ok, maybe they didn’t use exactly those words, but it's implied isn't it?
CHUD tries to offer a few soothing words of explanation, “Notice Zaphod's beard? That's actually the hair of his second head. Word on the street is that his head rolls back like a wheel to reveal a second face.” It appears that in fact, the HHG team has gone to great lengths to avoid actually spending the money to give Zaphod a second head. The above is just an excuse for it, not a solution. If that’s what they’ve done, shame on them. That’s a second face, not a second head… and no amount of PR spin is going to change that. Whatever problems Star Wars might have, at least George Lucas isn’t painting Darth Vader red, or making Chewie bald. Nobody wants to see a shaved wookie.
What of Zaphod’s third arm? Well you can forget about that too. This morning, AICN one upped CHUD with actual reports from a test screening of the film. Click here to read up, just remember with AICN, there’s always a chance they could be fake. But that seems unlikely, since they confirm not only the ridiculous deletion of Zaphod’s head in favor of a cop out, but similar treatment for his third arm: “…the filmmakers use every trick in the book to NOT show Zaphod’s two heads and third arm. They even go so far as to create an elaborate plot device which removes said head and arm for the entire second half of the film in what has to be the most latent attempt to save a buck I’ve ever seen on the big screen.” A third spoiler filled review, from the extremely shady IMDB user boards (here) further confirms: "The answer to the two head issue with Zaphod is that his head pops back and his second head appears."
Even the Guide’s friendly recommendation “Don’t Panic” can’t stop me from fearing this film now. It’s just gone from “Most Anticipated” to “Most Dreaded” movie of the year. Let’s hope that the removal of Zaphod’s head to save a buck isn’t symptomatic of the overall product. They can still make this thing work. The Zaphod's head issue will be a thorn in the HHG fan's side. If everything else hits, then maybe we're sort of froody in spite of it. So far though, even the positive reviews from the test screening are only giving it a 75% satisfied. Well, 75% isn't so bad. But guys, this is strike one.
At least the Vogans look GREAT! So does Marvin's gun. Must have my Marvin!
