MGM has just signed a death warrant for their new film A Dog’s Breakfast by debuting it online instead of in movie theaters. Though it’s chic to release movies through alternative outlets like DVD or Cable television, or in this case on the internet, so far it hasn’t done a damn bit of good for anyone. Magnolia Pictures for instance, has been pursuing a day and date release pattern where they (theoretically) release their movies simultaneously online, on DVD, and on cable. As a reward for their innovation, just about everything they release is utterly and completely ignored by everyone. Anyone see Grey Matters? Anyone even heard of it? It opened last week.
For A Dog’s Breakfast MGM will try to get better results by going the online route. The movie will not be in theaters at all, but it will be available on iTunes and Amazon UnBox on Tuesday. The really interesting thing about what they’re doing is that it also won’t be on DVD, at least not until September 18. So unlike Magnolia, this isn’t a multiple media release, they’re actually substituting the internet for a theatrical release.
However, much like Magnolia, they’re only using this on a movie nobody cares about anyway. In fact, this is probably the only publicity the movie will get in the mainstream movie media. It’s entirely likely you’ll never hear its name again. So, while I’ve got you here’s the score: It’s a movie from David Hewlett, one of the stars of the crap TV show ‘Stargate Atlantis’. Crap TV show it may be, but the show’s fans are blissfully unaware of how much it sucks and eat that shit up like a dog who uh, likes to eat his own shit. They’ll probably eat this up too.
It makes sense for MGM to release the movie online then, since most of the film’s audience is rather nerdy and thus online savvy. Since it didn’t cost much to make it, a few thousand iTunes buys from the shows most obsessively devoted fans should be enough to nab them a profit.
For more information on A Dog’s Breakfast, which may well be absolutely wonderful even though no one outside of a few obsessive internet geeks will ever know about it, check out their website here, or watch the trailer via the embed below:
