Posters exist for movies that are coming out some time soon. We have them. We keep them to ourselves, but take pictures of them to prove to you that they actually exist. Then I make fun of them. This week's edition contains gay guys and delicious mustaches. At least we're done pimping posters for Troy.
Will Ferrell is watching you. He's staring at me like I'm a delicious donut. No Will Ferrell, audiences are for entertaining, not for eating! This poster is NOT entertaining since it's just a carbon copy of the same stupid image we've already seen for Anchorman in all the pre-existing promotional materials. I demand that the movie itself be more original.
Where is Danny Deckchair? Why he's right there in the corner of the poster, stealing all of Kermit the Frog's best moves. Perhaps he's out to woo the heart of a violently feminist pig. Or maybe he has an affinity for hat wearing bears. But with a name like Deckchair, shouldn't he be hanging out on the deck of a cruise ship somewhere begging for old lady tips as he drags furniture to and fro, sweating in his sensible and well worn boat khakis?
Heterosexual world domination is over. The gay community has discovered Photoshop. They aren't very creative with it yet, but like everything, given time they'll no doubt use it to make us all hot for hairy men. Right? Showboy's insidious message about living your dreams apparently involves dancing. That's a shock.
Funny, I didn't realize King Arthur was about a woman. I'm happy to enjoy Keira Knightly's midriff just about anywhere she wants to display it. But should it be really hogging front and center on a poster for a movie named after its male lead? Poor Arthur has been shoved unceremoniously in that foggy corner behind Guinevere. Is Keira Knightly becoming the new Halle Berry?
Our worst fears have been realized. Bill Clinton is back at the White House and his head has grown to massive Godzilla-like proportions! Like the mighty Zeus, he calls down lightning on the Bush administration as he unleashes his mighty wrath. He's off his diet and boy does he look hungry. With a head that big, it shouldn't take long to hunt him down. It'll be a short session of Hunting for the President. Find him before he finds you.
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