Posters exist for movies that are coming out some time soon. We have them. We keep them to ourselves, but take pictures of them to prove to you that they actually exist. Then I make fun of them. This week we get to reminisce about the glory days of the WB.
We start with a poster for a movie that’s already out. I really liked Shrek 2, but good god did those posters suck. Check out this German one which, at least compared to the US “heads” posters we got shoved down our throats, rocks. Ogres and copious amounts of beer sort of go well together, so I guess it’s no surprise that the krauts would get this thing right.
Here’s a poster where Justin Timberlake pretends he’s Colin Farrell. He’s even borrowed his poster from Colin’s last summer movie, S.W.A.T. for his remarkably similar movie Edison. Heck, he’s even borrowed L.L. Cool J. Must be revenge for Farrell “borrowing” Brittney Spears. I think Farrell got the better deal.
I love the way this poster for The Village manages to make those hands look all spidery. I’m not sure why I care all that much about a list, but then I haven’t seen the movie. This poster, like all of Shyamalan’s stuff we’ve seen for The Village so far isn’t quite as interesting as his brainier marketing efforts for Unbreakable or Signs. It’s no Pizza the Movie, but it’ll do.
Now this is cool. You just don’t see enough black & white photos of guys wearing robot helmets outside of some shadier porn sites. Congratulations to Casshern for effectively banishing color.
Kevin Bacon’s axe has just disappeared and been replaced by a gigantic orange dodgeball. He’s not much of a lumberjack. Maybe they aren’t talking about that kind of wood? Who knows what could be hidden behind that gigantic ball in this poster for The Woodsman.
Samuel L. Jackson should be forbidden from use of the trimmed mustache. He always looks like a worn out insurance salesman. Why does Juliette Binoche look like Julia Roberts in the poster for In My Country and where is the “special jury prize” sticker or “official selection” logo that usually accompanies a poster for a movie that I’ll never see like this?
As crazy as I am for The Incredibles, this poster is um… red and bears a striking resemblance to a fellow called “Freakazoid”. Drawing comparisons between yourself and cancelled WB shows might not be the best way to market your film. No, I’m not talking about Moesha.
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