Posters exist for movies that are coming out some time soon. We have them. We keep them to ourselves, but take pictures of them to prove to you that they actually exist. Then I make fun of them. Scroll down for an unusually curvaceous edition.
My ever enlarging ego tells me I’m in some small way at least a little to blame for the recent resurgence in an obsession with surfing in the cinema. After all, I was one of the people who ran out and gave a positive review to Blue Crush back in 2002, back when it had been years since anyone had sat through a big wave on the big screen. Now they’re back, mostly as documentaries, all sporting posters with big waves and tiny guys on surfboards because that’s awe inspiring… I guess. At least it was the first fifty times I saw it. Now I just wish they’d go back to doing more Blue Crush. At least that had Kate Bosworth on the poster. This one has a wave and an Aussie looking word that some folks might mistake for things beloved by stoners. Maybe a few will wander in by accident.
This poster for A Tale of Two Sisters looks like it was directed by Wes Anderson… if Royal Tenenbaum finally got fed up and took Pagoda and his shiv with him on a wild stabbing rampage in the Tenenbaum house… and if the Tenenbaum house was in Japan and all the Tenenbaums were Asian. Ok maybe that’s a stretch but you can’t deny the weird, bizarro world poster resemblance.
I’m not sure where this Isle is, but I know I’d like to visit. I suspect it may be a couple miles down-ocean from The Blue Lagoon, only even bluer. Projects about Islands (Survivor excepted) haven’t always been successful, but we folk sure like thinking about them. Gilligan and Mary Anne are no doubt to blame for that. Maybe also that Robinson Caruso fella, and maybe that big Black Stallion too. If its got people on an Island, I’m willing to chance it. This particular island appears to be populated by blue women, the sort Captain Kirk might approve of on Star Trek. Even Leonardo DiCaprio couldn’t keep me away from this place.
There’s something in the water again, and I for one am a little sick of it. Sure I love the hell out of Open Water, but do we really need more underwater terror? At least this one isn’t sharks. Unless the sharks have finally figured out a way to mimic a fictional water-dinosaur. That’s probably giving them too much credit. Maybe it’s just those pesky Anacondas at it again. After being driven out of the rain forest by rampaging camera crews and Morris Chestnut, they’ve migrated to Scotland.
For Bruce Banner, The Upside of Anger is that he turns into a big green rampaging hulk who can pretty much kick anyone’s ass. For Kevin Costner, the upside of anger is that he gets to nuzzle with a heavily surgeried Joan Allen. I think Bruce has the better deal.
Since he’s given up being Bond, Pierce no longer sees any reason to shave… his face. If he’s not going to take off his beard, I wish the guy would shave his chest or at least button up his shirts. Old age has not been kind to his breast bristles. It does however seem that despite being in After the Sunset instead of the next Bond flick, he hasn’t gotten over his affinity for posing in front of guns.
I think I’m starting to notice a theme this week, semi-naked women. When Will I Be Loved is pretty blatant in its marketing, touting possible nudity by Neve Campbell as a way to lure people in. Ok, maybe it is somehow integral to the plot, I haven’t seen it. I’m sure the nudity is “artistic” and not the list bit explicit.
Smart move cutting off Christina Ricci’s massive forehead in this poster for Cursed. I think by now we’ve all seen enough of that.
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