Posters exist for movies that are coming out some time soon. We have them. We keep them to ourselves, but take pictures of them to prove to you that they actually exist. Then I make fun of them. This week we're one day late. Not my fault, I was down with a bad case of the Creeping Fear.
Behind every bad poster is a really bad tag line. The Notebook has a good cast, but man if that tag line doesn't just suck the life right out of you. You don't even notice the picture, which is itself fairly reminiscent of a certain spider involving nipple shot, only filmed right side up. It does however beg the question: Spiral or loose leaf?
Someone has been watching The Planet of the Apes. I think I'd rather have that poster on my wall. But if Planet of the Apes had never existed, this Day After Tomorrow one sheet would be hanging there instead. How about some work for old Chuck Heston? I think he's gotten too reliant on Michael Moore for all his great roles.
I'm suspicious, not because of all the rows of scary robots over my right shoulder, but because of all those um... clouds over on my left. Hey, did you see my badge?
Ben Stiller is officially moving into Tom Selleck territory with all his fantastic recent mustache work. That's one helluva piece of facial hair. I'll be in a seat for Dodge Ball looking for lice and hoping that guy at the back doesn't keep staring at me like that throughout the entire picture. Back off there big boy.
Oh man, you just don't see enough two part posters anymore! Four new character posters from Troy, but the top two are the kicker. They look like some clever marketing scheme from TV Guide to trick me into buying the same issue more than once just to claim that I snatched up all the Mr. Spock collectors covers. When you fit em together, they form his entire face. It works for TV Guide... damn if it doesn't work for Troy. Normally I'm a little burned out on character posters, but like everything we've seen from Troy, they manage to make even the most tiresome things a little bit special.
Report by: Joshua Tyler
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