This fall the Catholic Church will acknowledge that I'm right, by premiering the New Line Cinema movie The Nativity Story at the Vatican. They've obviously recognized what I've been saying all along: religious movies are big. Really big. Pope big. You can't get much bigger than Pope big. Just look at the size of his hat.
The story came today in a press release from New Line, happy to crow about being the first movie studio ever to talk the Vatican into allowing a movie premiere on their premise. I wonder if the Pope will walk the Red Carpet?
The premiere will be held on November 26th, and be attended by The Nativity Story's director Catherine Hardwick, stars Shohreh Aghdashloo and Oscar Isaac, producers Marty Bowen and Wyck Godfrey, screenwriter Mike Rich, and 7,000 rich people invited by the Pope people. Ok, I added the "rich" thing in myself. I don't really know if they'll be rich, but everything I learned about the Vatican I learned from Mission Impossible III, so I'm going to assume all the guests will arrive in red Ferraris.
The whole thing will be wrapped up in a charity bow to make it spiritually acceptable. Proceeds will be used to construct a school in a religiously diverse Israeli village. So if you hate kids or learning, throw out the Pope's invite when it shows up in your mailbox. Or does the Pope even use mail? I've always envisioned the Pope sending his letters by Dove, or maybe carried by a donkey riding Friar. Look for an ass at your front door if you hope to attend.
