It’s kind of an unwritten understanding around here that I cover the “crap movies.” Mostly these are defined as being the films that studios won’t screen for the press – typically movies they know will get bad reviews, or those rare movies that are criticproof and don’t need to be reviewed to draw in a decent audience.
Mostly, however, I review the crap nobody else will touch. No press screenings and no volunteers? Give it to Rafe. That’s fine. I can take it. But I draw the line with The Poughkeepsie Tapes. I saw the trailer for the upcoming horror film over the weekend and instantly it went into my short list of things I have no interest in ever seeing, right behind Jason Muzie in a nudie-picture and Sylvester Stallone reciting Shakespeare.
If you haven’t heard the premise of the movie, it’s takes its origins from The Blair Witch Project. The fictional tapes this time were discovered in Poughkeepsie by the police department. The movie, The Poughkeepsie Tapes, is comprised of over 800 video tapes filmed by a serial killer as he brutalized and massacred his victims. 800 fictitious snuff films, made to seem realistic and projected up on theater screens in 2008 for your viewing pleasure.
I can’t imagine this will be screened for the press, but I also can’t imagine I’ll be going to see it. I’ve already made my feelings known on this whole “torture porn” trend as I sat through watching Elisha Cuthbert and Lindsay Lohan as they were fictionally victimized in pictures this year. I have absolutely zero interest in seeing realistic “amateur footage” theoretically recorded by a real killer. Keep this kind of garbage ideas in dark back rooms, passed around on video tapes in brown paper bags, or on bit-torrents for the sick, demented folks who want to see it.
If you happen to be among those sick, demented folks, or you’re just curious about where I draw the line on the crap I watch, here’s the trailer for The Poughkeepsie Tapes:
