The American Film Institute is at it again. In an effort to remind people that they exist, the AFI has released another one of those Top 100 lists. They are, unfortunately, running out of relevant lists to create. They’ve already done 100 Greatest Movie: “Heroes and Villians” (calling Brian Wilson and Van Dyke Parks, lawsuit opportunity!), “Thrills,” “Cheers,” “Movie Scores,” and “Giant Feet.” The 100 Greatest Movie Giant Feet list is made up, but it’s only a matter of time. This time, for no real reason, they broke it into 10 lists with 10 movies each. The “10 Greatest Films in 10 Classic Genres” list. Set your bullshit detectors to kill and let’s take a look at what we got.
The genres picked were animation, romantic comedy, westerns, sports, mystery, fantasy, sci-fi, gangster, courtroom drama, and epic. Some of the genres picked seem reasonable, but where is horror? I hate horror movies, but there are some good ones out there. What about musicals? What about war pictures? What about…..pudding. I like pudding. Why is there a nebulous category like “epic,” but no musical genre list. Is it because there aren’t that many musicals in the history of film? Oh wait, there are fourty-seven quadrillion thousand to the 81st power musicals. What about war movies, probably only about seven of those since Thomas Edison invented the pictogram discombobulator in 18 and 53. Certainly not as many as “courtroom drama” or “romantic comedy.” What about non-romantic comedy. Un-romantic comedy? Sure, you have to draw the line somewhere, but no horror, no musical, no war and you include something stupidly vague like “epic.” These are supposed to be “classic genres” it says so right in the title. I call bullshit.
Let’s look at the lists themselves. I’ve listed all top 10, in order, for each “classic genre except musicals, war, horror, non-romantic comedy, et. al.” chosen by the AFI choosers. It’s not really that I disagree with their choices. Well, except in two or three….oh wait….eight, nine…..sixteen…..hell, it is because I disagree, but how can you not. City Lights is the best romantic comedy of all time? Are you kidding me? The Incredibles is not one of the top 10 animated films? The original King Freackin’ Kong? That movie bored me stupid, and that doesn’t take a whole lot of boring, but still, there are much better fantasy movies. I don’t even know where to start with a list that puts Cat Ballou as one of the 10 best westerns of all time. I call bullshit.
I know these lists are subjective and everything, but then why list them in numerical order. Fantasia is 5 on the animated list and Toy Story is 6. By how many parcels of betterness? Is Laura really five movies better than Dial M for Murder (I preferred Troy McClure in Dial M for Murderousness)? If so, is it by a factor of 5 or do we need some sort of higher math to determine the ranking? AFI President Bob Gazzale acknowledges it’s subjective in Variety, but tries to point out that some opinions are more subjective than others. “These countdowns are a collective opinion of leaders from across the film community. Any surprise about an omission would be entirely subjective.” Sure, they are subjective, he notes, but we have “leaders from across the film community,” what have you got? I call bullshit.
Gazzale also pumps up the value of his list by saying "This is why these shows are so important. They keep these films in the cultural conversation. When City Lights is honored as the No. 1 romantic comedy, millions of people will go back and watch it again." So, these lists are now “important.” The only way they are important is if they include controversial picks, including lesser known pictures that few people are watching, like City Lights or Cat Ballou. So is there an incentive to throw a few of these left field picks in just to make these lists “important.” I’m sure the AFI would never do that. If they say Little Caesar is both a terrible pizza chain and the number nine gangster picture of all time, then that’s what it is, I’m sure. Far be it from me to interrupt the “cultural conversation.”
The full “10 Greatest Films in 10 Classic Genres” list is below:
Animated
Snow White
Pinocchio
Bambi
Fantasia
Toy Story
Beauty and the Beast
Shrek
Cinderella
Romantic Comedy
City Lights
Annie Hall
It Happened One Night
Roman Holiday
The Philadelphia Story
Adam’s Rib
Moonstruck
Harold and Maude
Sleepless in Seattle
Western
The Searchers
High Noon
Shane
Unforgiven
Red River
The Wild Bunch
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
McCabe and Mrs. Miller
Stagecoach
Cat Ballou
Sports Raging Bull
Rocky
Pride of the Yankees
Hoosiers
Bull Durham
The Hustler
Caddyshack
Breaking Away
National Velvet
Jerry McGuire
Mystery Vertigo
Chinatown
Rear Window
Laura
The Third Man
The Maltese Falcon
North by Northwest
Blue Velvet
Dial M for Murder
The Usual Suspects
Fantasy The Wizard of Oz
Fellowship of the Ring
It’s a Wonderful Life
King Kong
Miracle on 34th Street
Field of Dreams
Harvey
Groundhog Day
The Thief of Bagdad
Big
Sci-Fi 2001: A Space Odyssey
Star Wars
E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial
A Clockwork Orange
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Alien
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Gangster The Godfather
The Godfather Part II
White Heat
Bonnie and Clyde
Scarface: The Shame of the Nation
Pulp Fiction
The Public Enemy
Little Caesar
Scarface
Courtroom Drama To Kill a Mockingbird
12 Angry Men
Kramer Vs. Kramer
The Verdict
A Few Good Men
Witness for the Prosecution
Anatomy of a Murder
In Cold Blood
A Cry in the Dark
Judgment at Nuremberg
Epic Lawrence of Arabia
Ben-Hur
Schindler’s List
Gone with the Wind
Spartacus
Titanic
All Quiet on the Western Front
Saving Private Ryan
Reds
The Ten Commandments
