I’ve made two New Year’s Resolutions to kick off 2012. The first is to more closely analyze the myriad of factors, variables and minutiae that aid in determining critical prediction success as it relates to art and the subjective nature of opinion in the cinematic world. The other is to be less awesome. I think both resolutions are do-able.
Unfortunately, there’s not much to work with as we ring in the New Year, with only one crappy looking exorcism flick hitting the big screen this week. Looks like I’m just going to need to be pretty awesome right away. Crap, resolutions are hard to stick to.
Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.
The Devil Inside
It’d be nice to see a little twist on the exorcism-themed movie for once. Instead of a couple of hot young priests (or faith-based folks of some order) heading to the call of some woman** who’s been possessed by demons not of this realm, I’d like to see those same dudes head to the offices of studio executives greenlighting another exorcism movie and remove whatever is possessing them to continue rolling out these flicks. Enough already. How many different ways are there to watch this same story over and over?
**Is it me or is it always women who need a demon extracted? I don’t know if that’s because women are weaker-willed and have less demonic defenses, or if its just Hollywood perpetuating the “b#$%es-be-crazy” stereotype. Either way, not of ton of dudes needing exorcisms. Go figure.
William Brent Bell (Stay Alive-9%) helms this story of some cliche’d girl who visits her possessed mother in some cliche’d insane asylum and calls on these cliche’d guys to use “science” and “faith” to gently pry out whatever cliche’d evil is inhabiting...oh whatever, who cares. This movie looks awful. The director is awful. The premise is awful. And the whole production has a “been there, done that” feel to it, right down to the possessed people flopping around and dislocating various joints in an effort to “shock” us. It’s a waste of time. Thanks a lot Hollywood for ringing in the New Year with crap. The Rotten Watch for The Devil Inside is 11%.
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Recapping two weeks ago:
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Predicted: 92% Actual: 86%)
War Horse (Predicted: 77% Actual: 77%)
Adventures of Tintin (Predicted: 86% Actual: 75%)
We Bought a Zoo (Predicted: 51% Actual: 63%)
The Darkest Hour (Predicted: 29% Actual: 13%)
A decent showing in one of the biggest movie release weeks in a long time. The highlight of course being a bullseye prediction for War Horse. TGwtDT was also within range. The other three just missed out on the ten percent, winning, marker. I really should have gone lower with The Darkest Hour considering I thought it looked terrible. Was probably hedging just in case, but really a more definitive “It’ll suck” score was more in order.
Next week Marky Mark runs some illegal goods and we get a choral showdown. It’s going to be a Rotten Week!
