We are getting into that time of year when studios are releasing movies people actually want to watch. It’s refreshing. This week we’ve got Jake G. heading out into the night with his camera, and Nicole Kidman waking up each day with a new lease on life.
Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.
Rotten Watch Prediction
There are a few reasons I’d be a nearly perfect fit for the world of underground freelance crime journalism. Among them I include my innate ability to attract problems and mayhem in the world around me. I mean just the other night Little Rotten Week and I were playing a board game. She lost and flipped the board over, scattering all the pieces everywhere, screaming the whole time. If I’d had a camera on me the meltdown surely would have gone viral. Also, I drive like a psycho up and down the parkway each day. Seems like that would come in handy. And finally, I’m usually up late anyway. So, there you have it. Basically my resume for entering the kind of world Jake Gyllenhaal inhabits in this flick.
Take a look at what I mean in the trailer for Nightcrawler,
In Nightcrawler Gyllenhaal plays the kind of guy you’d be itching to get away from at a party. (That’s where we differ) His creepiness and awkward stance in life bleeds through even during the two minute trailer. Then he stumbles into a world of filming crime scenes (sometimes mid crime) and selling off the video to the highest bidder. It’s an interesting premise and it appears old Jake crushes it. The slicked hair and pallid skin tone alone make for a dude who is cycling down the drain over the course of a flick.
Directed by Dan Gilroy in his maiden voyage behind the lens, Nightcrawler has been earning tons of praise out of the box. It’s at 83% through twenty-four reviews and though the score will probably drop over the course of the week, it appears as if Gilroy made the most out of his rookie effort. The dude is married to Rene Russo and his brother, Tony, has been a Hollywood mainstay over the last decade, even winning the Academy Award for Michael Clayton. Dan, perhaps feeling the pressure to not have scripts for flicks like Chasers (33%) and Two for the Money (21%) be his legacy, appears to have put together a total winner here with a flick that could end up being mentioned in some way at the Academy Awards.
From the trailer, the film looks like a tour-de-force of action and devolving psychosis on the part of the Gyllenhaal. Hey, I get it. My life doesn’t feel too far removed from the blurred lines he’s experiencing. I mean just yesterday I took a nap mid-day and stayed up until like 1:30 AM. I’m practically a nightcrawler myself.
Rotten Watch Prediction
Is waking up each day not remembering what you did the day before some kind of curse? I contend this might just be the dream. What a carefree existence! Not having to worry about that coworker you pissed off the day before. No guilt about that extra pint of ice cream you dove into. Getting to watch your favorite show for the "first time" ad infinitum. This seems like some kind of perfect life. The anti-Groundhog Day scenario I’ve been looking for my whole life. Man, why do lucky people always get traumatic brain injury?
Watch Nicole Kidman living the dream the trailer for Before I Go to Sleep,
In a Memento-like flick, Nicole Kidman has no recollection of the day before. She just wakes up in her chic-professional apartment next to Colin Firth and has to put it all back together again. But unlike what I envision to be utopia, she appears to be living a nightmare. Kidman was the victim of some sort of crime and now must put the puzzle back together. Seems like a colossal waste of time (the memory search, not the movie) and Kidman is trapped between a bunch of people she can’t trust and a video journal that grows longer by the day.
Adapted from the best-selling novel of the same name, Before I Go to Sleep has been met with mixed reviews out of the gate. Some think it gets mired in a been-there-done that thriller, rife with a million cliches from the genre. Having not read the novel, my guess is the husband did it. And if I have a solid guess from the trailer, I suppose I can see what some critics mean. I suspect it gives a number of different red herrings along the way in an effort to keep the pace moving. Those who enjoyed it were able to look past the predictable and enjoy a flick that keeps you wondering.
And again, you’ll have a tough time selling me on the idea that Kidman is living some kind of tortured existence. Forgetting the day before? Seems grand. I wouldn’t be hand-wringing about how many Yards IPA’s I crushed yesterday during college football.
This poll is no longer available.
This past week was pretty close to being amazing. It started with John Wick (Predicted: 89% Actual: 85%), a film I’ll admit was good to have a head start on. I’m not sure I would have ever gone this high with the prediction if so many critics hadn’t weighed in early with love for Keanu as an assassin pulled out of retirement. Seems crazy to think critics liked it this much, considering Reeves and the story. But the dude killed it and could be proving he should get more roles.
Meanwhile, I was in range on 23 Blast (Predicted: 55% Actual: 43%), but missed the ten percent mark by just a hair. This one is annoying because I should have gone right at 50% and called it a day. I was positive it was too vanilla to end up too far one way or the other with critics. With that in mind, I should have just put it solidly at the midpoint. But no, I had to get greedy and thought critics would tick it just a hair above average. They went the other way and I missed a win by just two points. Going to need a couple of more critics weighing in here so history proves me a great prognosticator.
And finally, Ouija (Predicted: 29% Actual: 10%) sucked as I knew it would. All I did was make fun of this in my writeup and yet did the thing I always do and hedge to far on the high end. I’ve done this more times than I can count. It’s annoying and something I need to knock off. The trailer looked terrible. The premise worse, and yet I assume nearly ? of critics will like it? Embarrassing. For me.
Next time around we go to deep space with a big hero. It’s going to be a Rotten Week!
