There are very few things that I hold sacred in this world; my guitar, my five foot tall King Kong poster, but most of all…Looney Tunes. I, like many others between the age of 25 and 60, grew up watching Bugs Bunny and his ensemble of misfits bound around getting themselves into trouble, and I truly believe I’m a better person because of it. Looney Tunes made me who I am today, and reporting this next bit of news really does hurt me deeply.
THR is reporting that George Lopez, that outspoken Mexican guy with his own talk show for reasons you can't understand, is set to voice everyone’s favorite mouse, Speedy Gonzalez, in a feature length film about the zippy rodent. That’s not the ridiculous part. The film will be a live-action/CG hybrid written by Alec Sokolov and Joel Cohen, whose latest effort gave us Daddy Day Camp, so obviously we’re in for something special here.
But of course in today’s world there can’t be anything offensive to any one of the 300 million people in this country, so the producers are taking out every “racial stereotype” common to Speedy in lieu of a more acceptable plot line that hopefully won’t make anyone mad. Producer Anne Lopez has this to say about where they’re taking the character:
"We wanted to make sure that it was not the Speedy of the 1950s -- the racist Speedy. Speedy's going to be a misunderstood boy who comes from a family that works in a very meticulous setting, and he's a little too fast for what they do. He makes a mess of that. So he has to go out in the world to find what he's good at."
This is not Speedy Gonzalez. This is akin to making a Battleship movie involving aliens, or an Asteroids movie based on a game with no plot. The producers are simply hoping to capitalize on a name that people recognize even if it doesn’t reflect the source material.
Looney Tunes is what it is and shouldn’t be adjusted to accommodate people who can’t take a joke. Sure trying not to offend Mexicans in the process isn’t a bad idea, but what about the people like me that they’re offending by ruining a major part of my childhood? Maybe I’m taking this a little too personally, but Hollywood is already on my shit list for a number of reasons and I’d like to believe that one day they’ll get their act together. This news does not inspire hope.
Check out this clip of what Speedy Gonzalez should be, and if you’re offended by it, get over yourself.
