3D is officially Hollywood’s newest excuse for failing to have original ideas. First it was sequels, then it was remakes, more recently it’s been reboots, and now here we are doing everything over again just so it can be in 3D. You can’t really blame them. The Final Destination was one of the worst movies of the year, yet put it in 3D, and it’s number one at the box office. It seems to work.
Next to get the 3D do-over treatment is The Three Musketeers. It’s been at least five years since someone has made a movie out of Alexandre Dumas’ classic tale of French politics and swashbuckling. Even longer if you’re looking for the last time someone did a good version. This probably won’t be one of those rare, good versions since it’s being done by Paul W.S. Anderson. Of the available Paul Andersons, he is by far the worst one. Maybe that’s what the “W.S.” stands for, "worst".
THR says Anderson’s take on the franchise that inspired a Bryan Adams song will be done up entirely in 3D. I’m imagining a lot of cool but mainly pointless sword thrusting in the general direction of the screen. If he’s successful, audiences will leave the theater saying “I feel like I’ve actually been stabbed!” And if he fails, they’ll probably leave saying the same thing.
The good news here is that while Anderson co-wrote the script with Andrew Davies, he’s only producing, not directing. No director has been announced yet. Of the script Anderson says they’re “modernizing” The Three Musketeers but assures us that it will still be a period piece. I guess that makes this The Three Musketeers version of The Last Temptation of Christ.
