Trailer Trash - 04/21/04

Trailers are better than posters. Trailers have flashy lights and loud music to convince you that a film is good even if it is not. Sometimes trailers have no flashy lights and very little music - this means you must take them more seriously than trailers with with flashy lights and loud music and they should be considered for Oscars.

Sometimes trailers know the full film is so bad that they will show you the entire plot in the trailer thus saving you having to pay to see the whole excruciating thing - props to the marketing department on Swimfan for that one.

Lets look at what candy the film studios have been tempting you kiddies with this week...

Alien vs Predator

Aliens with no Sigourney. Predators with no Arnie. And both with the director of Resident Evil. The receipe is not promising. To disguise this fact Paul Anderson has invoked the great get out of jail free equation of horror. Flashlights + mists = atmospheric. You can't really tell much from this trailer except that it recycles most of the non-footage from the original internet teaser.

Click here to watch it...

I, Robot

The title of I, Robot might suggest some seminal insight into robotic A.I. and it's frst steps. But this stars Will Smith and is directed by the man behind The Crow. And so it is that the trailer contains rainy streets at night frequented by a wise-cracking Not-Quite-As-Fresh Prince investigating a robot murder. Conspiracy abounds...

Click here to watch it...

The Day After Tommorow

Roland Emmerich must hate people and civilisation in general. In every movie he makes there must come mass death and destruction of urban areas. This is no exception. Only there are no aliens. Or giant elephantitus-chinned Gojira. Only Bilbo Baggins and the dude from Innerspace versus mother nature, who judging by the trailer wins, so...er... where's the plot?

Click here to watch it...

Troy

The movie of a thousand cliched soundbites including "all star cast" and "sword and sandals epic". Shaping up to be something like Gladiator on steroids the only thing the trailer seems to not feature is the damn wooden horse that everyone knows about. Matt and co have set their man-crushometers to overload for this one.

Click here to watch it...