January shuffles off the map with a sigh and a whimper. Three new movies debut in wide release this weekend, and none of them is strong enough to be considered a clear box office winner. Unless Underworld 2 repeats or Brokeback Mountain surges, don’t be surprised if this weekend’s number one, whatever it is, ends up making less than $15 million. That’s not another pending slump, it’s just a response to a week in which there’s nothing but crap in the theaters.
Here’s our weekly look at what’s opening in a cinema near you:
Sneak Preview
Something New gets its second shot at a sneak peek. The Sannaa Lathan romantic comedy shows up for a single showing this Saturday in a theater near you. Next weekend it’ll open wide, but if you can’t wait for Focus Feature’s relationship chuckler now you know where to find it.
Expanding Brokeback Mountain continues it’s gradual theater expansion this weekend, but only adds a handful more theaters this time. The biggest widening release is Pierce Brosnan’s new movie The Matador. He’s still playing a killer of sorts, but this isn’t James Bond. Instead, it’s a buddy comedy in which Pierce as a traveling hitman befriends a businessman and drags him into his death bringer for hire life.
Limited Releases (Opening in fewer than 500 theaters.)
It’s a big weekend for limited releases, with movies like Manderlay and Tristam Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story drifting out into one or two theaters. But though Imagine Me and You’s trailers are spectacular, and though the space nerd inside me is intrigued by Roving Mars in IMAX, it’s Bubble that’s getting all the attention. It’s the new film from Soderbergh, and it’s getting attention not because it’s good, but because it’s the first in what will no doubt be a depressingly large number of movies to be released simultaneously in theaters, on DVD, and on television. You’d think with it being released in so many different ways, Bubble would be pretty easy to catch. But it isn’t. The simultaneous release is more hype than it is fact. It’s not really coming out on DVD till Tuesday, and though it is playing on television it’s only doing so in two showings on a cable channel that almost no one has. As for its theater release, it’s only playing in one theater in Dallas which probably means that unless you’re in an equivalently large city partially owned by Mark Cuban it’s probably not playing anywhere near you. Bubble’s big rollout suddenly sounds more like a trickle than a flood of cross-media releasing.
Big Momma’s House 2 (Opens in 3,261 theaters.)
Martin Lawrence revisits the character that he stole from Eddie Murphy who in turn stole his character from Robin Williams. It’s kind of like taking a picture of a picture… every iteration gets a little less funny. This time I expect the dropoff in hilarity to be considerable. After the first movie they’re really stretching it to keep Martin Lawrence in the Big Momma suit. Whatever excuse they come up with for him to return to it, it’s bound to be nothing more than a lame excuse. Big Momma’s House 2 is this year’s Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, and for those of you lucky enough to avoid Deuce 2 let me assure you that this is not a good thing.
Annapolis (Opens in 1,605 theaters.)
Annapolis is a standard, unbelievable underdog story in which pretty people are down on their luck is shoehorned into yet another military academy movie. I don’t know if the story is any good, but James Franco is spectacularly miscast in this sort of film. He’s no solider. This is a guy who played James Dean, and when not plotting to revenge himself on Spider-Man that’s the kind of role where he belongs. The uniform does not fit.
Nanny McPhee (Opens in 1,995 theaters.)
I was mildly amused by Nanny McPhee but very mildly. Emma Thompson’s movie works courtesy of a great performance from Kelly Macdonald. Otherwise it’s exactly what it seems, a penguin-free Mary Poppins knockoff. But it’s been awhile since theaters have seen a decent family movie and Nanny McPhee is plenty tolerable. Parents will no doubt turn out in force, looking for a way to occupy and silence their unruly kids. If you’ve got to see something new this weekend, why not this.
Still In Theaters and Worth Your Time: The Chronicles of Narnia, King Kong, Walk the Line, Munich
