12/2 – 12/3 Having farted out more than the usual number of stinkers last weekend, Hollywood’s taking a breath before Aslan breathes life back into theaters. That means there’s only really one wide release this week, but even though there’s not much new competition, odds are Aeon Flux won’t beat out the boy wizard for number one Here’s our look at the handful of new movies opening this weekend.
Misc. Limited Releases (Opening in fewer than 500 theaters.)
Transamerica is actually getting something approximately resembling good reviews, especially for the performance of Felicity Huffman who plays a woman trapped in a man’s body and seeking the operation necessary to rectify the reality of her incorrect genitalia. It opens in 2 theaters. The biggest limited release of the week is something called First Descent, a movie whose screenings I have declined to attend more times than I can count. I’ve been too busy watching things like The Ice Harvest. As bad as The Ice Harvest was, I’m convinced I made the right choice. First Descent is a snowboarding documentary, documenting what it calls “the snowboarding revolution”. Unfortunately I don’t think it’s a revolution that’s ever likely to reach anyone with an under $100,000 a year income. If you like watching affluent children change the world by playing in the snow, this is the movie for you. It’s in 235 theaters.
Perhaps even more frightening than a movie about snowboarders, is a movie starring Tom Arnold. That’s in limited release too, and it’s called The Kid & I. It’s about Tom Arnold making an action movie starring a kid with cerebral palsy. Murderball this isn’t.
Aeon Flux (Opens in 2,608 theaters.)
Charlize Theron’s flick is the only new release that matters, and it’s also the only one opening wide. That makes it my pick by default. Please don’t take that little checkbox to your left as any indication of quality. It’s the only movie out, I had no choice. Aeon Flux is the story of a dystopian future in which the government needs to be taken down. Charlize Theron’s broad shoulders are the ones to do it, as an assassin named Aeon Flux. Can you pronounce her name properly? Probably not. Actually, odds are this one’s a disaster. It wasn’t screened for the press, and that’s usually a strong indicator of a movie’s suckiness. But Charlize Theron is cashing in on her Oscar in a big way, so she’s thrown on a tight fitting unitard, done the splits, and now she’s ready to receive your money. Oscars do by nice mansions and heart shaped swimming pools, if you play your cards right. She’s playing hers this weekend, so if you love Charlize Theron, help keep her in the lifestyle she’s become accustomed to by watching her in Aeon Flux.
Still in theaters and worth your time: Walk the Line; Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
