2/11 – 2/13 New movies come out each weekend; come here to find out which romantic comedy lazy guys who don’t want to bother to buy candy or flowers will take their girlfriends to as a token gift. Two new wide releases opening wide this weekend, and a few indies which most of you won’t be able to see. Keep reading to find out how you should spend your movie going weekend:
Miscellaneous Limited Releases
(Films opening 2/11 on less than 400 screens)
The most controversial release of the weekend is INSIDE Deep Throat, a movie about another movie that was controversial decades ago. How can there be any controversy left in it? They’ll try and drum some up, but only on 12 screens nationwide, so they’d better drum loudly. Also in the extremely limited release mix is Bride and Prejudice a movie based extremely loosely on the novel whose name it resembles. It’s a 30 screen release, so if you’re not in Manhattan, forget it. The indie release of note this Friday is Ong-bak, a really interesting martial arts movie from Thailand. They make movies in Thailand? Yes they do, and they like to punch skulls. It hits on 387 screens, so if you’re in a large city, you might be able to find it, if you squint down to the bottom of the theater listings. It’s worth hunting down if you’ve got nothing better to do, just be sure you can handle cranium crushing violence. Also opening and not worth my time is Uncle Nino and National Lampoon’s Blackball. National Lampoon’s Blackball comes out on video a week after it hits theaters and Uncle Nino is not about a relative of the famous weather pattern.
Pooh’s Heffalump Movie
(Opens 2/11 on 2500+ screens.)
Whenever a new Winnie the Pooh movie is released, I have this weird compunction to go see it. Winnie the Pooh is to me, the pinnacle of toddler entertainment. I think I need a toddler before I actually go out and see one myself. Since hopefully that won’t be happening any time soon, I guess I’ll have to resist. Besides, what’s a Heffalump movie without any Woozles? Shameful. If you do see this, it’s probably because you have kids under 5 and you refuse to let them be brainwashed by Barney, or whatever other mind numbing drivel is being substituted for him these days. I really miss Mister Rodgers. Good luck to those of you braving a theater full of dirty diapers this weekend. I’ll resist my inner Pooh love and eat a pot of honey instead. If it comes in a pot. Why doesn’t it? That’s an idea whose time came back in the 70’s. Where can I get a honey pot?
Hitch
(Opens 2/11 on 3575 screens)
I was not mortally wounded by Hitch, which is really about all you can ask from a Valentine’s Day released romantic comedy. Will is charming and Kevin James is suitably fat and funny. Along with Eva Mendes, they jive together well enough to make Hitch entertaining for couples who want to go out and get lovey dovey together. It’s not the sort of movie that’ll prompt you to make out in the back row, but it will make you laugh a little and give your girl the romance she craves and is not getting from you. For bonus points, buy her some flowers afterward. Perhaps a romantic dinner? Try something! Don’t just sit there and let Will Smith do all the work.
Still In Theaters and Worth Your Time: The Aviator, Finding Neverland, In Good Company, Sideways, Meet the Fockers, Hotel Rwanda, Million Dollar Baby
