The good news? So far the 2005 box office slump hasn’t carried over in to 2006. The bad news? We’ve avoiding slumpage by supporting really terrible movies. I think I’d rather have the slump. Below is our usual weekly look at Hollywood’s latest batch of crap:
Limited Releases (Opening in fewer than 500 theaters.)
Russia tries its hand at the horror/fantasy/scifi/thriller genre with one of the most successful films in the cinema of that country’s history. Night Watch has been described as the Russian Matrix, I’m not sure how seriously to take that since Matrix comparisons are kind of a default for any movie that wants to be cool. But by all accounts Night Watch is worth seeking out in one of the three theaters it’s opening in. Even if it’s bad, you’ll at least be able to say you’ve seen a Russian movie. Not everyone can claim that. But the big limited release this weekend is Winter Passing, debuting in a small, seven theater release. It’s the first re-teaming of Elf and his Elf-girl. Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschanel star in the story of a girl exploring her father’s past. It sounds a little boring, but with Ed Harris in the cast mix along with the aforementioned Elf friends, the cast makes it worth a look.
Date Movie (Opens in 2,896 theaters.)
I’ve been reviewing movies for five years now, and in those five years I can’t remember any year in which movies were withheld from the press at the rate they’re being conspicuously not screened in 2006. There’s a reason for that… a worse than usual percentage of 2006’s early releases have sucked. Date Movie is the latest notch on the not screened for press bedpost, a sure indicator that it’s absolutely beyond redemption. As is the norm with really bad movie, Fox’s strategy is to hide how much it sucks from you long enough for them to release it in theaters and get all your money. I’m not really sure why they’re worried. Being horrible hasn’t stopped any of 2006’s other big releases from making a ton of money. I’m sure Date Movie will be no different. It’s from two of the three writers of Scary Movie, maybe they should have gone with none of them.
Freedomland (Opens in 2,361 theaters.)
Julianne Moore plays another distraught mother in Freedomland, a movie based on a novel by Richard Price. When a son disappears, his mother blames a black man from the projects for kidnapping him. Samuel L. Jackson plays a sympathetic cop who helps her look for her son. The movie gets it’s name from an insane Asylum where they end up searching for Julianne Moore’s latest movie kid. The trailers set it up as Flightplan on the ground. Hopefully it has a better twist. Price adapted his own novel for screen, and that rarely works. If the bad reviews this one is getting are any indicator, it certainly hasn’t worked here. Most critics are blaming the script, a shame since the cast is filled with talent.
Eight Below (Opens in 3,066 theaters.)
Eight Below is actually two movies. In the good movie, eight gorgeous sled dogs fight to survive alone in the harsh Antarctic wilderness. In the bad one, Paul Walker stars as their owner, forced to abandon his dog team in the midst of an emergency airlift, and now struggling to get back and rescue them before they freeze, starve, fall, or get eaten. The dogs steal the movie right out from under Paul, and that’s good since PW has nothing. It’s a beautiful, well done family movie, and I suppose the best thing I’ve seen so far this year. If you’ve read any of what I said about Date Movie above, you’ll know that’s not as glowing an endorsement as it sounds. But Eight Below is good, and the first movie of 2006 that I actually feel right about recommending.
Still In Theaters and Worth Your Time: Curious George, Capote, Good Night, and Good Luck, Walk the Line, Munich
