3/11 – 3/13 New movies come out each weekend; come here to find out which bald-headed action hero grows then shaves beard movie should be enjoyed. Three new wide releases this weekend, with a hearty stack of limiteds. Keep reading to find out how you should spend your movie going weekend:
Misc. Limited Releases
(Opening on fewer than 500 screens.)
No matter how much praise is heaped upon Millions, I just can’t get past how stupid and childish the concept sounds. Kids talking to imaginary saints? Really, I can’t envision anything I’d like to watch less. It sounds like the sort of thing that you’d need to be a Flanders to appreciate. It opens in only 5 theaters, but will no doubt go wider as critical praise keeps rushing in. Also of note in limited release is The Upside of Anger, Kevin Costner’s latest debuting in 9 theaters. But the most interesting limited is a movie which has been playing in extremely small engagements for a few weeks now, but is only this weekend expanding into as many as 280 theaters, Bride and Prejudice. The latest release from Bollywood, it’s an Indian movie with that guy from “Lost” in it. He’s good, but so is the movie, in fact it’s my favorite so far this year. If you’ve got an open mind, and can stand a lot of singing and dancing, check it out.
The Passion Recut
(Opens on 954 screens.)
Mel Gibson is re-releasing The Passion of the Christ, ostensibly to show off some new footage. It’s also unrated, because he was being abused by the man. Right. You believe that don’t you? Funny how he’s re-releasing it so close to Easter. Earlier today Rafe asked me why I cared about reviewing this. After all, it’s really still the same film, Mel has only added another 6 or 7 minutes to it. My answer? Because people are interested in it. I’m not one of those people, but you’d better believe they’re out there and they’ll be pouring into theaters to see this. That means it’s a great weekend to be absolutely elsewhere, particularly on Sunday around the time Churches start letting out. On a positive note, it’s a great Sunday to have lunch at Luby’s. The lines will be short and the cashier’s cheerful. If Mel makes this an annual thing, I’ll have a yearly date with Luby’s Cafeteria. Love their tarter sauce.
Robots
(Opens on 3776 screens.)
One of my favorite episodes of “Duck Tales” has Scrooge and the boys journeying to a planet entirely populated by robots. Robots isn’t quite as creative as that, but it does use a lot of the same plot elements. That’s not to say it’s a bad movie. There are quite a few laughs, and the production design is occasionally interesting. The robots are all rivets and joints, a nice, retro-look after sitting through the smooth robot lines of Will Smith’s anti-automaton I, Robot. But the movie just doesn’t connect. If Pixar makes animated films, then this is without a doubt a cartoon. Maybe it’d have helped if they’d found a way to write in a part for Gizmo Duck? I’m sure most of you have no idea what I’m talking about. Fox will continue to do well catering to kids, but once the novelty of CGI animation wears off, adults will stop showing up for cartoons like Robots. Movies like The Incredibles will never lose their luster.
Hostage
(Opens on 2123 screens.)
In Hostage, Bruce Willis dresses like The Dude and gets innocent bystanders killed. Depressed, he shaves his body hair and moves to a small, crime free town to play Sheriff, only to get caught between a trio of crazed hostage takers and the mob. With Robots hitting theaters this week, not much chance Hostage will get noticed, but it’s the better of the two films, despite getting a critical mauling everywhere but Cinema Blend. Billed as an action film, it’s nothing of the sort. It’s more of an action/thriller with some extra nice drama elements tossed in. Thank god for that. I know they’re touting this as a return to Die Hard form for Bruce, but as much as I like those films, I’ve no desire to see him go back to them. Hostage doesn’t, but rather throws a lot of different elements into one flick and somehow makes them all fit together. As a whole it seems pretty original, even if in pieces its pretty derivative. Hostage is easily the thing to see this weekend at the movies.
Still In Theaters and Worth Your Time: The Aviator, Million Dollar Baby
