For the first time in 2006 we have a few movies worth actually getting up off your ass to go and see in theaters. Box office totals are up, but we’ve been throwing our money away on crap. Not this weekend, as four new movies open wide and two of them are legitimately good. Good of course, doesn’t always equal attendance. Number one will be a battle between 16 Blocks and Ultraviolet. Will it be Milla’s abs or Bruce’s mustache?
Expanding
Transamerica is the last gasp of Oscar baiting movies in theaters. It’s been out for awhile, but this weekend it expands to its widest release, 656 theaters. Also expanding is the highest grossing film in Russian history, Night Watch. Of course highest grossing film in Russian history only translates into about $18 million dollars. Night Watch moves into 158 theaters.
Limited Releases (Opening in fewer than 500 theaters.)
I’ve got an appointment with IMAX this weekend. Deep Sea 3D debuts in IMAX theaters across the country and I need to lower my blood pressure. I’m not sure why IMAX 3D technology has only been applied to underwater photography so far, but until James Cameron gets around to filming giant freakin robots with it, speedy barracudas will have to suffice.
Also opening in limited engagements is Joyeux Noel, a World War II movie that tells the story of German, Italian, and British soldiers putting down their guns for a night of Christmas caroling before picking them back up again to blow each other’s heads off. I have a hard time getting the Christmas spirit thing going in early March, if you feel the same then skip right over this one.
Aquamarine (Opens in 2,511 theaters.)
A mermaid washes up in a pool, and helps two geeky teenage girls become popular while she herself hunts a brain dead lifeguard hunk. Think of Aquamarine as Weird Science for girls. But fish women are no substitute for super models and the wearing of bras on heads. Aquamarine looks cutesy and innocent. One of the Blend staff commented that it looks a lot like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants with dolphins. That seems pretty accurate. It should play pretty well to that same Traveling Pants audience.
Ultraviolet (Opens in 2,558 theaters.)
I’ve been looking forward to Ultraviolet for some time, but like so many movies this year it wasn’t screened in advance for the press. That can mean only one thing: It’s really really bad. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised, the film’s writer/director Kurt Wimmer is primarily known for the film Equilibrium, and though it’s achieved a weird cult following, the movie’s a cinematic disaster. By not screening Ultraviolet for the press, Sony is basically admitting that even they know this one is a stinker. If the studio has no faith in their own movie, why should you?
16 Blocks (Opens in 2,706 theaters.)
Spring has become Bruce’s time to shine. Last year he surprised everyone with the better than it should have been thriller Hostage, this year he does it again with the tight, return to form for director Richard Donner, 16 Blocks. It’s a solid action chase movie, with great tension and some amazing performances not just from Willis, but from Mos Def. Actually, Mos nearly steals the movie. Forget music Mos, focus on movies. He’s got something. 16 Blocks has something too, and it’s one of the first movies this year to actually deliver on whatever promise it has. It’s also one of two movies with Mos Def in it opening this weekend, the other is our must see movie of the week.
Block Party (Opens in 1,200 theaters.)
Mos Def has another go at your ticket purchasing power as a featured player in Dave Chappelle’s Block Party. It’s a concert film, directed by Michel Gondry. But it’s really a lot more than just another concert movie, Gondry’s documentary mixes music, comedy, and sincerity together into an engaging and incredibly entertaining film that’ll hold your attention whether or not you’re a fan of the hip-hop music blasting out of the speakers throughout. This is Dave Chappelle in his best element. His standup routine has always been mediocre, but when he’s just hanging out making comments off the cuff, he’s a genius. Whether you like rap music or not, give this one a shot.
Still In Theaters and Worth Your Time: Curious George, Eight Below
