4/29 – 5/1 New movies come out each weekend; come here to find out whether to watch depressed robots or depressed audiences in theaters. Keep reading to find out how you should spend your movie going weekend:
Misc. Limited Releases
(Opening on fewer than 500 screens.)
House of D, the movie disappointingly not about “Kage” and “Jables” expands into 300 theaters this weekend. Some of you may want to see that, whatever it is. But the limited I’ve got my eye on this weekend is something called 3-Iron, winner of the Italian Online Movie Awards best picture honor. Of course, those same awards chose Shrek 2 over The Incredibles for best animated feature, so there might be some reason to question their legitimacy. Still, 3-Iron won something somewhere, which is more than I can say for any of the other limiteds drifting slowly into one or two theaters across the country. The South Korean story of home invasion and romance sounds like a lot like someone took The Big Bounce too far. 3-Iron (called Bin-jip in non-English) is playing exclusively in New York and Los Angeles, so if you’re there you might want to give it a look, see what the Italians are in to besides electing popes and making fantastic pizza.
XXX: State of the Union
(Opens on 3300 screens.)
If XXX2 wins the weekend box office, there’s a good chance I may not log back in to the site on Monday morning. What’s the point in continuing to write about movies if people are going to ignore cool stuff like HHG in favor of utter garbage like this? It could be worse I suppose… the movie could star Paul Walker. Ice Cube has actually made movies worse than anything done by Paul Walker, but at least (I assume) the man knows how to use an iron. The presence of Samuel L. Jackson only confirms how bad it is, since he stopped making good movies shortly after Unbreakable. With his career in the toilet and his box office draw flagging, they couldn’t even get Vin Diesel back, he decided he’d rather star opposite a bitey duck. This is a movie in trouble. The name stinks too, sounds as if you’re getting 90 minutes of action packed speeches. Run away.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
(Opens on 3000+ screens.)
“The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” has this to say about flying: “The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.” Director Garth Jennings has thrown his movie at the ground and indeed, managed to miss. Hitchhiker’s Guide flies. People were actually dancing their way out of the screening I attended Monday, and by Tuesday morning I was still giggling at the gags. Sure, it’s getting a few negative reviews (though so far most are positive), but the majority of those are from obsessive, disturbed fans with ridiculous, unreasonable nitpicks or critics who just generally hate everything the movie industry throws at them (Hi Jeremiah Kipp!). Hitchhiker’s Guide is just a flat out fun movie, and one you don’t want to miss. It’s a treat to see Henson creatures back on the screen, especially in a great movie. The film is bizarre and unique, something which a few folks just can’t handle. You can, I have faith in your ability to be open minded. Please though, don’t my mistake and leave before all of the credits have rolled. I’m told that there’s a bit involving the universe and a very small dog, which I missed in my mad rush to make it to a much needed bathroom. Sure, I’m totally biased. Douglas Adams’ books have meant a lot to me. But there’s no getting around it: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a froody trip. Knock back a bottle of that Ol’ Janx Spirit and settle in.
