If M:I 3 can make $48 million dollars opening weekend and still be called a flop, what hope is there for Poseidon? The disaster movie remake is almost guaranteed to capture number one, but these days it’s not so much a question of who is number one, but number one by how much. With the only real competition this weekend being a lame Lindsay Lohan teen movie, anything less that $50 million for the summer’s second blockbuster might be considered a flop.
But forget the money. Let’s figure out what’s worth watching this weekend. Here’s our usual look at what’s opening:
Expanding
Art School Confidential expands into a nice 762 theater release this weekend, and it’s the film I’ll be buying a ticket for tonight. It’s the story of a guy struggling to get through art school, which may not sound like much of a movie until you hear it’s directed by Terry Zwigoff. Zwigoff was the writer/director of Ghost World (and therefore the genius responsible for the career of Scarlett Johansson) and he directed the wickedly funny, morally depraved Christmas classic Bad Santa. Until he makes a couple of real stinkers, the guy deserves a free pass from any real movie fan, and should have his movies automatically seen by everyone. Unfortunately an art school movie isn’t likely to do very well at the box office, especially since this one is getting lousy reviews, but I’ll still be out doing my part to thank Terry for the two classics he’s already given us by swiping my plastic for a pair of tickets.
Limited Releases(Opening in fewer than 500 theaters.)
Keeping Up With the Steins opens in 138 theaters this weekend, and promises to be s every lame, competitive family story you’ve ever seen, but done Jewish. Changing the religious beliefs of the film’s protagonists just doesn’t do enough to justify this movie’s existence. But, here’s the official plot synopsis if you’re still interested: Like the young Indian braves of long ago, Benjamin Fiedler (Daryl Sabara) is about to undergo an initiation rite that will take him from boy to man. But rather than face the perils of the hunt, he must endure something far worse--a Bar Mitzvah in Brentwood, California. Above all, the Fiedlers must surpass the “Titanic”-themed Bar Mitzvah given by Adam’s rival agent, Arnie Stein (Larry Miller). With his circus-sized celebration, Arnie has thrown down the gauntlet. For the highly competitive Adam, the war is on!
Just My Luck (Opens in 2,541 theaters.)
Ashley Albright (Lindsay Lohan) is the luckiest woman in the world, a person to whom all the good things in life have come far too easily. Jake (Chris Pine), on the other hand, is a bad luck magnet. His skies are always raining; his pants are always on the verge of splitting at the seams. On a night when dreams can be made or broken, fate brings Ashley and Jake together on the dance floor. Instantly taken with one another, they share an electrifyingly kiss – and with that one kiss, their luck switches places. Obviously, this is a movie geared for teens. If you’re not a teen, stay far away from it. There’s no excuse for seeing it. Lindsay Lohan has great potential as an actress, but this isn’t the movie where she’ll exercise it. Wait for her next one, Robert Altman’s A Prairie Home Companion.
Goal! The Dream Begins (Opens in 1,007 theaters.)
When Santiago Munez (Kuno Becker) is given the chance of a lifetime, he must leave his family, his life in Los Angeles and everything that he knows to travel halfway around the globe to England and into a completely foreign world: the exciting, fast-paced and glamorous world of international soccer. As an underprivileged Mexican-American immigrant growing up in the poor section of Los Angeles, Santiago seemed destined to follow his father’s path in life: laboring at menial jobs to earn just enough money to support his family. But when a British scout (Stephen Dillane) discovers his talent and gets him a tryout with one of England’s premier soccer clubs, Newcastle United, Santiago must choose between his father’s fate and his own destiny. Whether or not you’re a fan of soccer, this one’s gotten a few really good reviews (along with a few bad ones) and might be worth checking out.
Poseidon (Opens in 3,555 theaters.)
When a rogue wave capsizes a luxury cruise ship in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean, a small group of survivors find themselves unlikely allies in a battle for their lives. Preferring to test the odds alone, career gambler John Dylan (Josh Lucas) ignores captain’s orders (Andre Braugher) to wait below for possible rescue and sets out to find his own way to safety. What begins as a solo mission soon draws others as Dylan is followed by a desperate father (Kurt Russell) searching for his daughter (Emmy Rossum) and her fiancé (Mike Vogel), a young couple who hours before couldn’t summon the courage to tell him they were engaged and now face much graver challenges. Along the way they are joined by a single mother (Jacinda Barrett) and her wise-beyond-his-years son (Jimmy Bennett), an anxious stowaway (Mia Maestro) and a despondent fellow passenger (Richard Dreyfuss). As the unstable vessel rapidly fills with water each must draw on skills and strengths they didn’t even know they possessed, fighting against time for their own survival and for each other. It’s a remake of the classic disaster movie The Poseidon Adventure, one of the films credited with really starting the whole disaster movie genre and thus indirectly enabling the career of Roland Emmerich. It’s probably not as good as the original, but the effects are bound to be good. See it for that, and don’t expect anything else.
STILL IN THEATERS AND WORTH YOUR TIME: Mission: Impossible III, United 93
