In case you haven't heard, we've been struggling (and failing) with a server move all week, which has lead to fewer than our usual number of updates. It hurt me more than it hurt you. Believe me.
So we missed out on a few of the big, depressing, X3 items that broke in the last few days or so. In case you've missed them, I'll chime in on them. Here's the long and short of it: abandon all hope.
There was a brief, endorphin high we all went on after the first trailer for the freshly (and horribly) titled X-Men The Last Stand. Now reality has set back in. The most recent news from the production of X3 isn't so much news, but a set of posters. You can see the worst of those posted to your right, and to see the rest you'll unfortunately have to visit AICN here since they have an exclusive. But the one to your right really pretty well illustrates the problem with the whole lot of them. Wolverine you see, is not supposed to look like a metrosexual.
Some have said the posters are mimicking Rent, perhaps in an attempt to compare the mutant affliction to AIDS. But I say that Wolverine is actually just a closet fan of Chris Kattan's Azrael character from the SNL sketch 'Goth Talk'. The resemblance is uncanny… and pretty damned frightening. Wolverine is finally giving in to Hugh Jackman's twinkle toe background. There was a time when I would have said it to be impossible to make Wolverine look like a metrosexual, but apparently, I would have been wrong.
So we already knew the script sucked, and now the advertising sucks, and probably the look of the characters sucks too. What's left? Is there any hope that X3 could be a great, empty-headed, effects spectacle? Forget about that too. Some of the recent rumors surrounding the production hint that Ratner is having his budget slashed, and to cope he's cutting out some of the more expensive action sequences. Someone's going to have to explain to me why Fox hates making money… because clearly they do.
Actually, the squashing of X3's effects budget might explain the posters. They have no story, they have no spectacle. The only thing X-Men The Last Stand has left to sell is sex. Those posters must be their rather sad attempt at that. I'm officially all out of hope for X-Men. It'll take a miracle to win this Last Stand, and it doesn't look likely to happen.
For more info and images from X-Men The Last Stand visit our preview page.
