Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
Word is Johnny Depp will make about $50 million for the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie. That’s almost as much as everyone reading this lost in the stock market during the last 3 minutes. I hope Johnny is investing in gold.
SATURDAY
Harrison Ford and the ether think things look good.
We made how much with the last movie? Oh, then I’m in.
Saturday we talked a lot about sequels. Harrison Ford said some odd things about a possible Indy 5. That’s one odd guy, you know. He said that if the ether decides to make another movie it will happen. Hopefully the ether won’t produce another POS script. There is no chance that Batman 3 will have a POS script. First off, George Lucas isn’t involved and now we find that Christopher Nolan is. Nolan is like the way Lucas was in the 1970’s and early 1980’s. The maker of good films.
SUNDAY
I feel like my soul has been hit in the crotch by a frozen sledgehammer.
Long movie; not so long interview.
Beverly Hills Chihuahua was the top movie over the last weekend. I don’t think there is anything that can follow that sentence that won’t make me throw my desk through a window. Come on people! Let’s have a little self respect. On the opposite end of the spectrum, we got to sit in on an interview with Steven Soderbergh. He’s a pretty good director and directed a movie called Che that none of us will ever sit through. Of course, I haven’t seen it but know it’s better than Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
MONDAY
We watch them watch the Watchmen.
Katey Rich got to see some of Watchmen and she thinks it’s good. Since it won’t be out for 6 months, you’ll just have to take her word for it. Zack Snyder says the movie is Watchmen-y, which I find hard to argue with. I also find it hard to argue with Brandon Routh’s desire not to be the next George Reeves. He wants to get roles besides Superman and will fight some terrorists to do it. It’s win-win.
TUESDAY
Terminator Blows Up The Future
Is there anyone, ON THE PLANET, who thought Pirates of the Caribbean 3 was a good movie? Of course not. Unless you think Orlando Bloom is dreamy, you thought it was the worst third movie since The Matrix Revolving or whatever it was called. Now comes word that Tim Burton might put his stamp on Pirates 4. That means it won’t suck nearly as badly as Pirates 3, but then how could it. Another franchise part 4 is Terminator: Salvation. Someone took some photos onset and it looks like there is at least one explosion. Never would have thought.
Predicting The Oscars Way, Way Too Early
Guillermo del Toro thinks you have no life
I guess Oscar season hasn’t really started yet, but I just don’t care about the Oscars this year right now. Have there been any good movies in 2008? Yes, Dark Knight, Iron Man, The Visitor, a few others but nothing that is going to garner any Best Actress nominations. That doesn’t stop our Katey Rich from making a guess at what may win come February (or March, or whenever they hold that snoozefest.) Still, as long as the Oscars are, they are nowhere near as long as The Hobbit will be when Guillermo del Toro gets down with it. Two loooooooooooooooooong movies are coming our way. Buy hemorrhoid cream now. .
THURSDAY
Twilight is coming…it’s practically here!
You were WRONG!!!!!!!!
The final (thank god) trailer of Twilight was released on Myspace or some Internet community board so all the 13 year old girl fans (like New Kids on the Block, this thing is really just a young teen girl phenomenon) could watch it without stopping their IM’ng of “tEaM edWaRd Rulzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.” They were so busy that they didn’t notice we called a DC Comics character a Marvel character. Fortunately, budding Comic Book Guys everywhere stepped in to correct us.
FRIDAY
Robert Downey, Jr. stays white in this one.
He does what brown won’t do for you.
I finally read “The Hound of the Baskervilles” this month and so I consider myself an expert on Sherlock Holmes and all of his potential movie incarnations. Robert Downey, Jr. in a bowler hat doesn’t do it for me. He’s not Holmes stalking across the Moor looking for the true Hell Hound. Although he does drink Starbucks. Jason Statham doesn’t have time for Starbucks. He’s too busy transporting things in another Transporter movie. I’m not sure what he transports in these movies about a transporting transporter, but maybe someone should just send it via the postal service. You can get insurance.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
