Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
The writer’s strike drones on for another week, but I try to mostly ignore it while blending. I also try to pretend we aren’t in Iraq and that Al Gore didn’t win an international award. I’m big into denial. You would be too if you had to contemplate Sylvester Stallone directing a movie about Edgar Allen Poe. I’m only human.
SATURDAY
Hank’s goes Jim Morrison on our books.
Bad actor probably won’t appear in good movie.
On Saturday we dealt with some adaptation casting rumors. The first involves Tom Hanks playing the lead in Frank Darabont’s adaptation of Fahrenheit 451. This seems like a good fit, so it will probably never happen. Another rumor that won’t happen is Sylvester Stallone being cast in Martin Scorcese’s adaptation of Shutter Island. I read this book and can’t remember much about it, but I’m sure Stallone would be horrible in it. Mostly because he’s been horrible in everything he’s made since 1976.
SUNDAY
Buzz, buzz, buzz went the bumblebee, tweetly, deetly dee went the bird.
Listen to what we say with your ears….and your heart.
Boring-looking Lion’s for Lambs did poorly in its first weekend at the box office. So did Fred Claus, which has to be better than the previews make it look. Bee Movie actually came back in its second week to take the number one slot. This all goes to prove that it wasn’t a great weekend for movies. It was also a great weekend for listening to the Weekly Blend, our audio show. Of course, Rafe and the gang talk about the writer’s strike, but not so much you puke.
MONDAY
Some guy might be some super hero.
Really stupid woman releases really stupid movie.
No matter how hard Josh Tyler tries, the Justice League of America movie won’t go away. Although they can’t seem to get an actor anyone knows to play any role, the rumors are flying hot and heavy. The latest involves some no-name Australian playing an undefined role. Jessica Simpson is not a no-name, of course, but she’s also not in JLA. She is in a movie about a movie star who joins the army. I wish she would star in a documentary about this same topic.
TUESDAY
Nimoy and Quinto battle to the death!
New look for Enterprise makes some hurl, others shrug.
Tuesday was a day for Star Trek stuff. After pictures of Zachary Quinto dressed up like Spock hit the net, we asked people to vote on how he looked. Most of you said he looked fine or pretty damn good. A few didn’t, but who cares about those malcontents. Away with you before I set my phaser to kill! Oh wait, that’s just a hairbrush. The other Trek story was some whining about how the Enterprise (that’s the ship they fly around in for those of you with jobs and girlfriends) looks different. I looked at the pictures and they look almost exactly the same, but then I’m not a psycho. Excuse me, I mean “fan.”
Actor to play drunken self-destructive poet. No, it’s not Russell Crowe.
Darabont plans to get all of that Star Wars money.
On Wednesday we got word that a Sylvester Stallone movie about famous crazy poet Edgar Allen Poe had a possible leading man. Aragon himself, Viggo Mortensen, is reportedly in talks to get drunk and quoth the raven, nevermore. This will be the first non-Rambo or Rocky movie Stallone has directed since 1983, so be warned. Frank Darabont has better recent success than Stallone as a director, but he didn’t have much luck as writer with the most recent Indiana Jones movie. After writing a script that George Lucas reportedly didn’t like, Darabont is now hearing that many of his ideas are cropping up in the movie. He may want his share of the pie. So look for a WGA pissing match whenever they get off the picket line and back to work.
THURSDAY
Cloverfield will be called Cloverfield
Anne Hathaway and some guy on Get Smart poster.
The wait is over for the name of that J.J. Abrams produced that is coming out in January. It will be called Cloverfield, which is what people have been calling it for months. Hopefully the movie will live up to all the cutesy hype, or the backlash will be epic. Also epic is the big-screen Get Smart. After all, it features Anne Hathaway as Agent 99 and some guy as Maxwell Smart. Both Anne and the unknown are on a poster now, look for her (and him) on a bus shelter near you.
FRIDAY
Actors old and new try to get rich and famous off Harry.
Hulk not smash camera.
The cast of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was announced on Friday. Some kid named Daniel Radcliffe will be playing the lead role. New actors have joined the cast because there is a rumor that this will be a hit film, and everyone likes to be a part of that. It’s not such a sure thing that The Incredible Hulk will be a hit. The first movie was pretty so-so and this one has to live that one down. There is a new picture of what the Hulk will look like in this movie. He’s big and green, which is a bit of a departure.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
