Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
We celebrated Jesus’ birth this week. Well, we didn’t celebrate that here at CinemaBlend. All the writers and editors here are Pagans or Atheists, or Pagan Atheists. I got some Best Buy gift cards and a t-shirt with Mr. Potato Head on it. I thank Santa for his thoughtfulness. I also thank Edmund Gwenn for being CinemaBlend’s best movie Santa ever. Remember, Edmund, an official football helmet.
SATURDAY
Hot real chick to play hot chick based on game.
The week kicked-off, newswise, with the dean of critics, Roger Ebert, releasing his top 10 list. Or his top 34 list, if you want to quibble. No matter that Ebert is currently pretty irrelevant as a critic to those not senior citizens, his choices are not bad (The Great Debaters notwithstanding. He looks like hell, though. Seriously. Kirstin Kreuk definitely does not look like hell. She looks hella good! *cough* Ok, that was stupid, but not stupider than another Street Fighter movie starting Kreuk. Look for it to suck in a theater near you next year.
SUNDAY
Hell is for children.
It’s no secret which movie kicks ass.
Everyone loves a little Hellboy it seems. Well, not everybody, but comic book geeks and fanboys sure love him. Director Guillermo del Toro loves the Hellboy franchise so much, he wants to do another movie if the second one makes a few bucks. He’s left the ending of Hellboy II with an opening for another movie. It will also work as a complete story, so no matter which way things go, we’ll all be entertained. Lots of people were entertained by National Treasure: Book of Secrets last weekend. It made more money than I’ll ever have in one place. Walk Hard stunk up the joint, money-wise, so maybe the Apatow magic has run out? Or maybe people just wished there was more of Jenna Fischer eating ice cream. Yowza.
MONDAY
It tastes Oscar-licious.
Jodie Foster gets funny clumsy.
The Oscars continue to creep closer and closer. The WGA said they can’t have a waiver but the awards will probably still be given out and Katey Rich has all the inside dope. Not actual shoot it in your arm dope, more just analysis of the critical awards thus far and what they might mean for the big dance. For the love of all that is holy, don’t start contacting Katey looking for drugs, people. Speaking of drugs, there is no way that the people who put together Nim’s Island aren’t on some. They have high level talent for a movie that has to fail. It has no chance of success, but they went ahead and made it anyway. Couldn’t they just have thrown the $75 million my way?
TUESDAY
Hugh Jackman to have a nice body for a change.
Pixar sends old man after windmills.
Christmas Day is for thinking about Hugh Jackman’s abs. Word comes that he’s pumping up for that movie about Wolverine everyone is hoping will wash the Rattner taste out our mouths. I know that I expect my mutant self-healing blade-handed action hero to be in good shape, don’t you? I also expect that Pixar will make a good movie, no matter what the subject. The next one (after the next one) might be about Don Quixote, or at least a modern retelling. Who cares, buy me a ticket for opening night.
Bond girl may become JLA girl.
It’s WALL-Ey’s world, we’re just livin’ in it.
While everyone slept off their Christmas hangover or turkey stuffing or got ready for Kwanza, Eva Green was trying to get her hot, hot body into JLA. At least, that’s what someone thinks. If so, she’d immediately become the biggest name in the movie, which is scary since she’s not a very big name. Pixar is a big name, of course, and they have a movie coming out before the Don Quixote one we talked about yesterday. It’s called WALL-E and it has a trailer and a poster and everything. .
THURSDAY
Edward Norton stares at test tube!
Coen Brothers to make violent movie…again.
Are you excited about The Incredible Hulk? If you are, you’re insane, since the first movie sucked and there is no reason to think this will be better. It could be better, but they screwed the pooch once, so let’s wait and see on this. One thing you can see is some pictures of Edward Norton in his tank top. Snazzy. The Coen Brothers are also a pretty snazzy lately, with all their critical acclaim and confusing endings. They say they are going to make a Western next. It will have a lot of murdering and torturing in it. No wood-chipper or stun gun though.
FRIDAY
2008 will have movies, too.
Time for the big boys to step in.
As insane as it may seem, there is a whole ‘nother year ready to start up next Wednesday. I never even realized it, but Josh Tyler is a little quicker on the draw than I am, so he put together a preview of all the big movies coming out next year. There’s a new Batman movie…and some others. Hopefully 2009 will have a few movies also. They do have to settle this writer’s strike if that’s going to happen. The Director’s Guild may start negotiating with producers early next month and the hope is that they will get some sort of contact worked out that will force the WGA to either agree to a similar contract. Or maybe we’ll all start buying books. Nah.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback
