Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
The week before the Oscar telecast is full of Oscar-guessing and Oscar-criticizing goodness. It’s also full of NASCAR movies, Wolverine casting, Saturn Awards, Amy Adams, and other news of a varied tone and pitch. Read it all and then get comfy as the Academy gives away their hardware and you act pissed because that hot chick from Transformers didn’t win anything.
SATURDAY
A phenomena I don’t understand yields a movie I won’t see.
I’ll see this one, though.
I don’t get NASCAR and I never will. I don’t get movies about NASCAR things and I never will. Since I’m not the only one who buys movie tickets, though, a movie about Dale Earnhardt is being planned. It will include some guys going zoom, zoom. I will be buying a ticket for Peacock, starring Ellen Page and Cillian Murphy. It sounds right up my alley in that it stars Ellen Page.
SUNDAY
Katey predicts her brains out.
Famous living actors to replace famous dead actor.
Katey Rich has been our Janey-on-the-spot when it comes to everything Oscar. This week, she predicts what will win in every freakin’ category. She does a few categories every day and is saving the big guns for the end. See what she picks and then Sunday you can say things like “boy, she blew that one” or “right on the money, honey!” If you know her well enough to call her “honey,” that is. Heath Ledger will, of course, not be at this Oscar ceremony or any in the foreseeable future. He also won’t be able to finish his last movie, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Johnny Depp, Colin Farell, and Jude Law are reportedly all going to replace him. I’d probably get replaced by George Lopez if I died.
MONDAY
Drugged out skank pretends to be other drugged out skank.
Lindsay Lohan is posing for naked pictures. I’m not sure why this is surprising to anyone. I’m also not sure why anyone would want to make, let alone see a Jumper sequel. Didn’t seeing the first one turn everyone off to anything having to do with teleporting youth? Shouldn’t the money be spent on ending world hunger or maybe to fill those potholes on my street. Give it to Lindsay Lohan, she clearly needs it.
TUESDAY
Sawyer aced out by Tim Riggins.
Ripley doesn’t like AVP; believe it, or not.
Do you watch Friday Night Lights? I think it’s on Friday now. Anyway, there is a guy who plays a drunken, man-whoreish fullback named Tim Riggins. He might be in the Wolverine movie playing a guy everyone thinks is perfect for Josh Holloway. Holloway also plays a drunken, man-whore so six one half a dozen the other, I say. Sigourney Weaver probably won’t be in Wolverine as she’s still getting over “heartsickness” at how they’ve take her wonderful Alien franchise and trampled on its memory. This is coming from the person who made Alien 3, so she’s got some pretty big nads.
The Oscars aren’t the only one’s who nominate lousy movies for awards.
Mamet goes all kung fu on our asses.
Everyone likes to beat up on Oscar nominations but the more fan-friendly Saturn Awards deserve a little disdain. Now, they have four best picture categories and have more of a chance to throw a stinker or two in there, but they went above and beyond this year. The nominations for one of their “best” pictures includes Transformers, Pirates 3, The Last Mimzy, The Golden Compass and Ghost Rider. I don’t care how you slice your genre; those movies were flat-out not good. Don’t be bitchin’ about Atonment and Juno if you’re gonna let that slide. A movie that probably won’t be nominated for much come next awards season is David Mamet’s Redbelt. I hadn’t heard of it until I saw the trailer, but I’ll be seeing it. It looks great. .
THURSDAY
Amy Adams talks about some movie I’ve never heard of but now want to see.
Leo will make Akira and Josh won’t see it…or maybe he will.
Amy Adams is the IT girl of the moment. Usually I hate the IT girls of the moment, since they never do anything anyone wants to see. See a good Gretchen Mol movie lately? Oddly, though, I want to see everything Amy Adams does and ever will do. Even something called Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, which I would never want to see ordinarily. I’d also never want to see Akira, about a street bike racing superhero or something. Neither would Josh…until he found out Joseph Gordon-Levitt might be in it. Now he’s torn. Life is tough, Josh.
FRIDAY
The worst Oscar screw-ups in history.
Charlie washes up on Wolverine’s island.
While I’d be surprised if No Country For Old Men doesn’t win best picture on Sunday, stranger things have happened. When those old Academy farts get a ballot in their hands, they sometimes make really stupid decisions. The five dumbest were announced on Friday. I even agree with two of them. I also agree with Dominic Monaghan joining the Wolverine cast. Mostly because he died on Lost but that annoying Juliet is still walking around. Kudos to our favorite bass playing-hobbit-heroin addict.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
