Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
It’s been a strange week for movie news. Focused mostly on things that might happen and studios and movie websites telling each other what the other is doing, damned if there’s any fact in it.
MONDAY
Mummy 3… Aw Crap why bother
Departing Again, and then going to the baggage claim
We started of the week with two such stories. Our own anonymous scoopers sent us word that The Mummy 3 was in deep dark trouble, and that Warner Brothers in the meantime was building a franchise upon The Departed’s ass.
TUESDAY
Abrams won’t fly the Enterprise
Universal Sends Imo-tep To Get Us
The next day the Latino Review got in on the act claiming that Star Trek would no longer be flown by JJ Abrams. This “story” caused a mini feud between websites when it caused Harry Knowles to awaken from his slumber and demand a sacrifice. Despite assurances from JJ himself that he is still firmly on the project the Latino Review is holding fast to its claims. Only time will tell.
That same day Universal graciously replied to our Mummy 3 rumor, saying they did in fact want to make the movie, and then breaking down in tears for an hour afterwards.
Departed confirmation By Wahlbergh
Geeks insist Dark Crystal Is Dead, we prove them wrong.
Schumacher threatens to cause mass geek suicide
In speaking of JJ, Wednesday was one of the best days in a long time to be a geek. With the triumphant return of two beloved franchises, ‘Lost’ and “The Dark Tower”. While The Dark Tower did have some serious flaws, including fanfictiony writing (every other word was one from King’s made up dialect, note to the writers: King used it sparingly for the same reason so should you). ‘Lost’ on the other hand was great. I for one have not been able to jump on the “SESON THR33 SUX” bandwagon. ‘Lost’ remains the best thing on television. Huzzah!
Other news this Wednesday was less cool. Wahlberg confirmed our Departed Scoop (Cool). Other movie websites insisted Dark Crystal 2was dead, even though we debunked the story (Less Cool). And then Joel Schumacher threatened to cause a nation of geeks to hang themselves by threatening to take on Neil Gaiman’s revered “Sandman” series. Though Lord Morpheus having his own personal credit card would be cool (I keeed I keeed). Joel, seriously, unless you want actual blood on your hands just stop it right now and never mention “Sandman” again.
THURSDAY
AHWOOOOOO! Here comes the Wolfman!
Thursday was a little slow aside from this piece of coolness. The long rumored Wolfman script is something I’ve been interested in for a long time. As a big fan of Andrew Kevin Walker and Benicio Del Toro, I am excited to have them returning to the big screen. Well now thanks to Mark Romaneck (One Hour Photo, Johnny Cash’s Hurt video) the trinity of coolness is complete. Of course Benicio is about to go shoot his epic Che Guerva double feature with Soderbergh, so theres no telling when this could be made, considering the details of that production make Apocalypse Now look modest. But it’s nice to see some movement on it in any case.
FRIDAY
To round out the week we had a fourth “YES THEY ARE, NO WE’RE NOT” game between websites and studios. This time on the subject of Borat 2.
Additionally we had two long rumored projects bear fruit. First, after crushing the imposter with his mighty fist of righteousness Head of Pixar/Certifiable Genius/King Of Everything John Lasseter confirmed that he will go ahead with Toy Story 3, but sadly will not be directing it, instead leaving it in the able hands of his trusted protégé Lee Unkrich. And there was much rejoicing.
Lastly we had the long awaited announcement that the uber popular videogame series Metal Gear Solid would be turned into a movie. Guess what - it's gonna suck. I don’t say that based on any of the information found in the story. But all videogame movies will undoubtedly suck. Clutch Silent Hill to your chest all you want, but right now you guys are where comic book movies where in the mid 90s. Until your Bryan Singer comes along and convinces everyone that studios can make money with a quality product, well they’re just going to keep on sucking. Expect more tears then when you found out you had to play as Raiden.
Until next time cheers.
